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Funny Quotes

Sweat like a pig look like a fox Picture Quote #1

If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk Picture Quote #1

If you get a booty call at 3:00 a.m you probably weren't first on the list Picture Quote #1

in the morning i'm like

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something Picture Quote #1

You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions Picture Quote #1

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Don't scare me!, I poop easily Picture Quote #1

When I'm alone and order a pizza I yell

God is dead. Nietzsche is dead Picture Quote #1

Are you mocking me? Cuz I feel like I'm being mocked Picture Quote #1

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens - and then everybody disagrees Picture Quote #1

I'm not funny. What I am is brave Picture Quote #1

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TO ME - OLD AGE IS ALWAYS TEN YEARS OLDER THAN I AM Picture Quote #1

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening Picture Quote #1

Men are only as loyal as their options Picture Quote #1

It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat Picture Quote #1

Feed me so i can take a nap Picture Quote #1

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house Picture Quote #1

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Reading one book is like eating one potato chip Picture Quote #1

Calories don't count on the weekend Picture Quote #1

Life is short. False. It's the longest thing you do Picture Quote #1

Thank goodness pets can't talk, they all know too much Picture Quote #1

There is just not enough time in the day for all the naps I want to take Picture Quote #1

Lazy rule: Can't reach it. Don't need it Picture Quote #1

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The problem is that obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is that no one runs in your family! Picture Quote #1

i solemnly swear that i am up to no good Picture Quote #1

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow Picture Quote #1

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? Picture Quote #1

Some days I think that I would be much happier if I were single, all the other days I know it for sure Picture Quote #1

Monday. Yay! Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Sweat like a pig look like a fox (Funny Quotes) If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk (Funny Quotes) If you get a booty call at 3:00 a.m you probably weren't first on the list (Funny Quotes) in the morning i'm like "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", but by the evening i'm like "Eat all the food!" (Funny Quotes) If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something (Funny Quotes) You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions (Funny Quotes) Don't scare me!, I poop easily (Funny Quotes) When I'm alone and order a pizza I yell "pizzas here" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm a loser (Funny Quotes) God is dead. Nietzsche is dead (Funny Quotes) Are you mocking me? Cuz I feel like I'm being mocked (Funny Quotes) Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens - and then everybody disagrees (Funny Quotes) I'm not funny. What I am is brave (Funny Quotes) TO ME - OLD AGE IS ALWAYS TEN YEARS OLDER THAN I AM (Funny Quotes) Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening (Funny Quotes) Men are only as loyal as their options (Funny Quotes) It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat (Funny Quotes) Feed me so i can take a nap (Funny Quotes) I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house (Funny Quotes) Reading one book is like eating one potato chip (Funny Quotes) Calories don't count on the weekend (Funny Quotes) Life is short. False. It's the longest thing you do (Funny Quotes) Thank goodness pets can't talk, they all know too much (Funny Quotes) There is just not enough time in the day for all the naps I want to take (Funny Quotes) Lazy rule: Can't reach it. Don't need it (Funny Quotes) The problem is that obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is that no one runs in your family! (Funny Quotes) i solemnly swear that i am up to no good (Funny Quotes) You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow (Funny Quotes) We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? (Funny Quotes) Some days I think that I would be much happier if I were single, all the other days I know it for sure (Funny Quotes) Monday. Yay! (Funny Quotes)

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