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Funny Quotes

I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
Together is my favorite place to be - Love Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
You had me at hello - Love Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
When I'm alone and order a pizza I yell "pizzas here" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm a loser  (Funny Quotes) I'm always here for you as a living example of how things could be much worse  (Funny Quotes) God is dead. Nietzsche is dead  (Funny Quotes) Are you mocking me? Cuz I feel like I'm being mocked  (Funny Quotes) Men are only as loyal as their options  (Funny Quotes) It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat  (Funny Quotes) Feed me so i can take a nap  (Funny Quotes) No one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep  (Funny Quotes) Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate  (Funny Quotes) I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house  (Funny Quotes) Calories don't count on the weekend  (Funny Quotes) Life is short. False. It's the longest thing you do  (Funny Quotes) Thank goodness pets can't talk, they all know too much  (Funny Quotes) If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk  (Funny Quotes) There is just not enough time in the day for all the naps I want to take  (Funny Quotes) The problem is that obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is that no one runs in your family!  (Funny Quotes) You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow  (Funny Quotes) We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?  (Funny Quotes) Don't scare me!, I poop easily  (Funny Quotes) Monday. Yay!  (Funny Quotes) Well, i'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch  (Funny Quotes) Today the dog. Tomorrow the world  (Funny Quotes) The average woman falls in love 7 times a year. Only 6 are with shoes  (Funny Quotes) Should I tell him I am here?  (Funny Quotes) I'm not funny. What I am is brave  (Funny Quotes) “My memory is so bad” “How bad is it?” “How bad is what?”  (Funny Quotes) If I ignore it will it go away??  (Funny Quotes) Guuuuurl... That bag does not go with that top!  (Funny Quotes) Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening  (Funny Quotes) Politics is show business for ugly people  (Funny Quotes)
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