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Funny Quotes

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Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Funny Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes
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No, I didn't lose my mind. It got scared and ran away  (Funny Quotes) That was a lot of lying for one person to do. Here, sit down. You must be exhausted  (Funny Quotes) Just what part of meow don't you understand  (Funny Quotes) Mooooooooooooonday, Tuuuuuuuesday, Weeeeeeednesday, Thuuuuuuursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday  (Funny Quotes) I have so much to do that I'm going to bed  (Funny Quotes) I'm smart. I'm funny. I'm pretty. So there's no way I could be a size 2. God had to be fair  (Funny Quotes) Close enough  (Funny Quotes) You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool  (Funny Quotes) I'd say the negotiations went much better than expected, bedtime was pushed back 10 minutes  (Funny Quotes) Its so funny how the people who know the least about you, have the most to say  (Funny Quotes) A day without sunshine is like, you know, night  (Funny Quotes) Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it  (Funny Quotes) You were an epic waste of my time  (Funny Quotes) How to handle stress like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away  (Funny Quotes) I hate to waste sick days actually being sick  (Funny Quotes) Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way  (Funny Quotes) Don't make me poison your food, dear  (Funny Quotes) How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand  (Funny Quotes) Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea  (Funny Quotes) So, there's this girl, she's beautiful, funny, has a great personality and guess what? She's reading this right now  (Funny Quotes) Stop the world I want to get off  (Funny Quotes) Today was going great until, people  (Funny Quotes) I don't like morning people. Or mornings. Or people  (Funny Quotes) The doctor said it's cooties... I think you should get yourself checked  (Funny Quotes) Go on, tell them I ate your homework. They'll never believe you  (Funny Quotes) Nailed it  (Funny Quotes) I got 8 more lives, might as well spend 1 chillin’  (Funny Quotes) You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream. And thats kind of the same thing  (Funny Quotes) Twitter is stupid, and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read  (Funny Quotes) If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging  (Funny Quotes)
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