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Funny Quotes

I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
When we first met, i had no idea you would be so important to me - Love Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her - Marilyn Monroe Quotes
Don't look back you're not going that way - Inspirational Quotes
Together is my favorite place to be - Love Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
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Text Quotes
Expectation. Reality  (Funny Quotes) If she says "do whatever you want", do NOT do whatever you want  (Funny Quotes) I told you I was sick  (Funny Quotes) The most exercise you get is running your mouth, jumping to conclusions, and pushing your luck  (Funny Quotes) Step aside Monday, this is a job for coffee  (Funny Quotes) Attitude. You know it when you see it  (Funny Quotes) If you're uncomfortable around my dog, I'm happy to lock you in the other room when you come over  (Funny Quotes) You had one job  (Funny Quotes) Going to McDonald's to get a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug  (Funny Quotes) Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now  (Funny Quotes) The Earth without art is just eh  (Funny Quotes) Sarcasm is the bodies natural defense against stupid  (Funny Quotes) The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it  (Funny Quotes) Don't cry over spilt milk, just lick it up instead  (Funny Quotes) Always be yourself unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn  (Funny Quotes) Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is  (Funny Quotes) Life is short, so smile while you still have teeth  (Funny Quotes) Found it! Another home for the dog  (Funny Quotes) I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested  (Funny Quotes) My car runs on gas, not friendship. So pay up.  (Funny Quotes) I don't think you understand mom. I need lightup shoes so I can run faster  (Funny Quotes) It's funny how people have strong opinions on things they know nothing about  (Funny Quotes) Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?  (Funny Quotes) An apple a day keeps the doctor away, especially if you aim for the head  (Funny Quotes) Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself  (Funny Quotes) A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad  (Funny Quotes) Every silver lining has a cloud  (Funny Quotes) Nutrition facts are useless, just show me how long I have to be at the gym if I eat this.  (Funny Quotes) My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I shop!  (Funny Quotes) So close, yet so far away  (Funny Quotes)
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