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Funny Quotes

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Mrs Bieber? yes  (Funny Quotes) Time for tickles!  (Funny Quotes) No one told him that he can breathe underwater  (Funny Quotes) Kids. If they aren't working for you, they're working against you  (Funny Quotes) Is that your card?  (Funny Quotes) What? Oh, that. I dunno  (Funny Quotes) Invisible rollercoaster  (Funny Quotes) Get well soon! I can only be nice for so long  (Funny Quotes) Me before I get ready in the morning  (Funny Quotes) Buy a weeks worth of food. Get some fast food on the way home  (Funny Quotes) Is mutiny funny to you Mr. Archer? I dunno, maybe a mutiny of clowns  (Funny Quotes) Funny? Not really  (Funny Quotes) Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope  (Funny Quotes) A good listener is usually thinking about something else  (Funny Quotes) For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home  (Funny Quotes) I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry  (Funny Quotes) I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight  (Funny Quotes) I highly recommend worrying. It is much more effective than dieting  (Funny Quotes) Stress doesn't really go with my outfit  (Funny Quotes) My friends are all getting married. I'm getting drunk  (Funny Quotes) If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!  (Funny Quotes) When I was your age, we took spelling tests, not pregnancy tests  (Funny Quotes) If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank  (Funny Quotes) I have made this letter longer than usual, only because I have not had the time to make it shorter  (Funny Quotes) Sorry I thought you were pregnant  (Funny Quotes) Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers  (Funny Quotes) Big or small, young or old, I think most men will agree... women are scary  (Funny Quotes) I miss you. Whenever something funny happens, I always want to tell you about it  (Funny Quotes) Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant  (Funny Quotes) Please Please Please Please Please Please  (Funny Quotes)
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