|

|

Advertisements

Jay Leno Quotes

In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president Picture Quote #1

In Greece, the unemployment rate has risen to 22%. The solution to the problem was to raise taxes on the rich, according to the Greek president Barack Obama-opolis Picture Quote #1

President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn’t you think that was already illegal? Picture Quote #1

At the Sharper Image store, I saw a body fat analyzer. Didn’t that used to be called a mirror? Picture Quote #1

A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush’s dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father Picture Quote #1

Vice President Joe Biden said today that ‘Syria must be held accountable.’ Unfortunately, the Obama administration has never employed an accountant, so they have no idea how to do that Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

They say that most airline seats on planes today are meant for 170-pound passengers. The last time the average American weighed 170 pounds, the Wright Brothers were flying the plane Picture Quote #1

The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists’ team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama played for Picture Quote #1

A new study says that working fewer hours can slow global warming. So you know what that means? President Obama’s economic policy is also his climate change policy Picture Quote #1

It seems that England’s royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million. Well sure, that’s what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years Picture Quote #1

A team of British lawyers has now concluded that the Declaration of Independence was illegal, and the American colonies had no right to secede from England. Well, you thought our court system was backed up Picture Quote #1

A petition to have Justin Bieber deported got over 100,000 signatures, which means the White House now has to legally rule on it. So finally a chance for Obama to issue an executive order that both Republicans and Democrats can agree on Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That’s almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time looking at Facebook Picture Quote #1

President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared war since Obamacare Picture Quote #1

Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico Picture Quote #1

According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent more money than they raised? Well, that’s called being a Democrat Picture Quote #1

According to a new book coming out by a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, apparently when he was in high school, President Obama smoked large amounts of marijuana. You know what that means? He could be our first green president Picture Quote #1

USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA evidence clearing more people and the fact that Rick Perry has been on the road campaigning Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything Picture Quote #1

President Bush said it’s now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now in Iraq, the economy is collapsing, businessmen are corrupt, and Hussein wants his son to take over as president. Sounds like mission accomplished Picture Quote #1

You’ve got Bush and Gore headed to the Supreme Court. You’ve got George W. Bush’s intelligence will be pitted against Al Gore’s honesty. This is more like a case for small claims court Picture Quote #1

I saw something stupid in the paper today. A new alarm clock that makes no noise. It’s for people who don’t like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hits you with light and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those.. it’s called a window Picture Quote #1

One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein interview adopted a phony Arabic accent. You know, maybe CBS should have hired somebody with a fake Dan Rather accent to ask tougher questions Picture Quote #1

Yesterday, Saddam Hussein got 100 percent of the vote. Well, that’s according to Saddam’s campaign manager, Jeb Hussein Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-elected ever since. Apparently they have the same electoral process we do, you don’t need the popular vote to win Picture Quote #1

President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the old-fashioned way - liquored up in a cheap hotel room Picture Quote #1

According to a British poll, you’ve only got a one in five chance of achieving your childhood career ambition. Which probably explains why you don’t run into that many cowboys, princesses, or space rangers Picture Quote #1

According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When’s the last time you even ran into a Mayan? Picture Quote #1

There are now more obese people in the United States than there are overweight people. I think it’s safe to say that after all these years, Diet Coke is a complete failure Picture Quote #1

The entire spring and summer line from Marc Jacobs was stolen on the way to the fashion show in Paris. The thief is considered armed and fabulous Picture Quote #1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 - 16

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president (Jay Leno Quotes) In Greece, the unemployment rate has risen to 22%. The solution to the problem was to raise taxes on the rich, according to the Greek president Barack Obama-opolis (Jay Leno Quotes) President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn’t you think that was already illegal? (Jay Leno Quotes) At the Sharper Image store, I saw a body fat analyzer. Didn’t that used to be called a mirror? (Jay Leno Quotes) A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush’s dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father (Jay Leno Quotes) Vice President Joe Biden said today that ‘Syria must be held accountable.’ Unfortunately, the Obama administration has never employed an accountant, so they have no idea how to do that (Jay Leno Quotes) They say that most airline seats on planes today are meant for 170-pound passengers. The last time the average American weighed 170 pounds, the Wright Brothers were flying the plane (Jay Leno Quotes) The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists’ team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama played for (Jay Leno Quotes) A new study says that working fewer hours can slow global warming. So you know what that means? President Obama’s economic policy is also his climate change policy (Jay Leno Quotes) It seems that England’s royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million. Well sure, that’s what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years (Jay Leno Quotes) A team of British lawyers has now concluded that the Declaration of Independence was illegal, and the American colonies had no right to secede from England. Well, you thought our court system was backed up (Jay Leno Quotes) A petition to have Justin Bieber deported got over 100,000 signatures, which means the White House now has to legally rule on it. So finally a chance for Obama to issue an executive order that both Republicans and Democrats can agree on (Jay Leno Quotes) Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That’s almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time looking at Facebook (Jay Leno Quotes) President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared war since Obamacare (Jay Leno Quotes) Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico (Jay Leno Quotes) According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent more money than they raised? Well, that’s called being a Democrat (Jay Leno Quotes) According to a new book coming out by a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, apparently when he was in high school, President Obama smoked large amounts of marijuana. You know what that means? He could be our first green president (Jay Leno Quotes) USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA evidence clearing more people and the fact that Rick Perry has been on the road campaigning (Jay Leno Quotes) President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything (Jay Leno Quotes) President Bush said it’s now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now in Iraq, the economy is collapsing, businessmen are corrupt, and Hussein wants his son to take over as president. Sounds like mission accomplished (Jay Leno Quotes) You’ve got Bush and Gore headed to the Supreme Court. You’ve got George W. Bush’s intelligence will be pitted against Al Gore’s honesty. This is more like a case for small claims court (Jay Leno Quotes) I saw something stupid in the paper today. A new alarm clock that makes no noise. It’s for people who don’t like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hits you with light and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those.. it’s called a window (Jay Leno Quotes) One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein interview adopted a phony Arabic accent. You know, maybe CBS should have hired somebody with a fake Dan Rather accent to ask tougher questions (Jay Leno Quotes) Yesterday, Saddam Hussein got 100 percent of the vote. Well, that’s according to Saddam’s campaign manager, Jeb Hussein (Jay Leno Quotes) Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-elected ever since. Apparently they have the same electoral process we do, you don’t need the popular vote to win (Jay Leno Quotes) President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the old-fashioned way - liquored up in a cheap hotel room (Jay Leno Quotes) According to a British poll, you’ve only got a one in five chance of achieving your childhood career ambition. Which probably explains why you don’t run into that many cowboys, princesses, or space rangers (Jay Leno Quotes) According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When’s the last time you even ran into a Mayan? (Jay Leno Quotes) There are now more obese people in the United States than there are overweight people. I think it’s safe to say that after all these years, Diet Coke is a complete failure (Jay Leno Quotes) The entire spring and summer line from Marc Jacobs was stolen on the way to the fashion show in Paris. The thief is considered armed and fabulous (Jay Leno Quotes)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 - 16