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Funny Quotes

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If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays  (Funny Quotes) Yoga. Vodka  (Funny Quotes) Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want  (Funny Quotes) I have no idea what I'm doing  (Funny Quotes) I woke up early, there was no worm  (Funny Quotes) I need a six month vacation. Twice a year  (Funny Quotes) Not lovin' it  (Funny Quotes) I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now  (Funny Quotes) You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches  (Funny Quotes) I'm in my bed, you're in your bed. one of us is in the wrong place  (Funny Quotes) I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks  (Funny Quotes) I'll never be old enough to know better  (Funny Quotes) Dude, I'm joking you are not adopted  (Funny Quotes) If someone breaks your heart just punch them in the face. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream  (Funny Quotes) As i do more laundry, nudists seem less crazy  (Funny Quotes) I'm smarter than you're  (Funny Quotes) How I feel without makeup  (Funny Quotes) Don't stare at his legs, don't stare at his legs, don't stare at his legs  (Funny Quotes) She's my best friend of course i'm going to tell her everything you said  (Funny Quotes) Me, after watching the Victoria's Secret fashion show  (Funny Quotes) I love you with all my butt. I would say heart but my butt is bigger  (Funny Quotes) Totally worth it  (Funny Quotes) The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits  (Funny Quotes) Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you  (Funny Quotes) Get at least eight hours of sleep. Nine if you're ugly  (Funny Quotes) It's not funny when you're next  (Funny Quotes) Ted has learned that Susan does indeed have a last nerve  (Funny Quotes) Expectation. Reality  (Funny Quotes) Only dead fish go with the flow  (Funny Quotes)
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