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Jarod Kintz Quotes

Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only Picture Quote #1

I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can Picture Quote #1

I stood in the doorway pondering the difference between naked and nude, and the pizza delivery guy probably wondered if I was going to go put on some clothes and pay him Picture Quote #1

Women should have nipples on their butts. From a design perspective, I think it would revolutionize the fashion industry Picture Quote #1

I want to end my life by eating so much Viagra that I go out like that movie and Die Hard. If you want to watch, I just made popcorn Picture Quote #1

I want to weigh less, not through diet and exercise, but by acquiring a faulty scale Picture Quote #1

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Dialogue between two characters, each of them different forms of karate, might be a bit choppy Picture Quote #1

Friends, like fingers, are only good if you can count on them, as well as point them in the right direction Picture Quote #1

He was my distant cousin. Not only was he 50 miles away and 50 years away, but he was just very aloof Picture Quote #1

Love is the most precious gift you could ever possibly hope to steal. Some women foolishly do not leave their rib cages locked at night Picture Quote #1

My goal is to be as forgiving as a man with amnesia, but love as if I remember and cherish all the things you do that make me smile Picture Quote #1

If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs) Picture Quote #1

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I don’t like Dijon or honey mustard. No, the only kind of mustard I like is #FFFF00 mustard Picture Quote #1

The wind helps me unwind. I make love like Don Quixote windmilled into history Picture Quote #1

I tell people, Yeah, I went to Harvard University. What I don’t tell them is I was only there for five minutes delivering a pizza Picture Quote #1

I can kick the can down the road, and I can also kick other modal verbs Picture Quote #1

If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I’d have 50 cents. That’s assuming drag queens are half price Picture Quote #1

In my dreams, my spare penis was decomposing in my closet, and to me it was a symbol of our love Picture Quote #1

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If a company won’t hire you, why don’t you start your own company? Steve Jobs created jobs, he didn’t apply for them. #Startup your dreams Picture Quote #1

Women love a man in uniform. You should see them drool when I dress up in my Girl Scout outfit Picture Quote #1

I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife~? Picture Quote #1

I drink coffee with a spoon, and I eat soup with a straw. The clang of metal on an empty mug wakes me up to the moment and reminds me to love Picture Quote #1

I know I love her, because when I see her my heart beats like a drum. If she played guitar and sang, we could start a band Picture Quote #1

A fuel pump is a fountain drink machine for cars. And people who want to save the environment and get drunk and run to work Picture Quote #1

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I am Vigalig the Destroyer. Except during the day, and then I am Gigalig the Giggler Picture Quote #1

You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night Picture Quote #1

North, south, east, west, I need to find a nude erection to point the way Picture Quote #1

The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating commercial breaks for breakfast Picture Quote #1

I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables Picture Quote #1

I want to write a song about one man’s level of commitment called, I’d walk to the edge of the world, just to dump your body Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I stood in the doorway pondering the difference between naked and nude, and the pizza delivery guy probably wondered if I was going to go put on some clothes and pay him. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Women should have nipples on their butts. From a design perspective, I think it would revolutionize the fashion industry. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I want to end my life by eating so much Viagra that I go out like that movie and Die Hard. If you want to watch, I just made popcorn. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I want to weigh less, not through diet and exercise, but by acquiring a faulty scale (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Dialogue between two characters, each of them different forms of karate, might be a bit choppy (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Friends, like fingers, are only good if you can count on them, as well as point them in the right direction. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) He was my distant cousin. Not only was he 50 miles away and 50 years away, but he was just very aloof. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Love is the most precious gift you could ever possibly hope to steal. Some women foolishly do not leave their rib cages locked at night. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) My goal is to be as forgiving as a man with amnesia, but love as if I remember and cherish all the things you do that make me smile. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs). (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I don’t like Dijon or honey mustard. No, the only kind of mustard I like is #FFFF00 mustard. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) The wind helps me unwind. I make love like Don Quixote windmilled into history. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I tell people, Yeah, I went to Harvard University. What I don’t tell them is I was only there for five minutes delivering a pizza. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I can kick the can down the road, and I can also kick other modal verbs (Jarod Kintz Quotes) If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I’d have 50 cents. That’s assuming drag queens are half price. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) In my dreams, my spare penis was decomposing in my closet, and to me it was a symbol of our love (Jarod Kintz Quotes) If a company won’t hire you, why don’t you start your own company? Steve Jobs created jobs, he didn’t apply for them. #Startup your dreams. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Women love a man in uniform. You should see them drool when I dress up in my Girl Scout outfit. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife~? (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I drink coffee with a spoon, and I eat soup with a straw. The clang of metal on an empty mug wakes me up to the moment and reminds me to love. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I know I love her, because when I see her my heart beats like a drum. If she played guitar and sang, we could start a band. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) A fuel pump is a fountain drink machine for cars. And people who want to save the environment and get drunk and run to work. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I am Vigalig the Destroyer. Except during the day, and then I am Gigalig the Giggler. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) North, south, east, west, I need to find a nude erection to point the way (Jarod Kintz Quotes) The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating commercial breaks for breakfast. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I want to write a song about one man’s level of commitment called, I’d walk to the edge of the world, just to dump your body. (Jarod Kintz Quotes)

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