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Jarod Kintz Quotes

I told her I’d wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who’d give me a ride home Picture Quote #1

Love is about forgiveness. And since I love you, you should forgive me Picture Quote #1

Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former Picture Quote #1

Two former students of mine are getting married. Congrats, grandpa and grandpa! Picture Quote #1

My life was unbalanced. That is, until I found love and grew a second leg Picture Quote #1

I took a shower under a fountain drink machine at a gas station because it beats showering with unleaded gasoline at $3.33 a gallon and rising Picture Quote #1

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The president of the US is the leader of the free world, if by free world you mean the country with the largest prison system Picture Quote #1

I am so extreme that I do parkour like a caterpillar gyrates. My movements are slow and methodical, but eventually my free running takes flight. I love the same exact way, and my romance has the essence of a butterfly Picture Quote #1

I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I’d happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin Picture Quote #1

I wear a jockstrap with my gun holster (loaded with fruits and vegetables) Picture Quote #1

I asked for her hand in marriage, but instead got the whole body. Love is full of surprises! Picture Quote #1

I would take a trip down Memory Lane, but with gas prices sky high, forget about it Picture Quote #1

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I was gardening when I saw this snail/slug thing disguised as a leaf. Ah, isn’t fall a wonderful time to slowly fall in love? Picture Quote #1

I wish I could bottle up my penis and sell it at a garage sale. But first I need to get a garage Picture Quote #1

Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I dug it up first? Picture Quote #1

When I hear people say Rest In Peace, I get jealous, because I’m a restless sleeper Picture Quote #1

A sofa on an elevator would be like a slow roller coaster where you get to work on your small talk skills. Oh yes, I am an adrenaline junky Picture Quote #1

He told me he was getting married, and I told him I approved of his upcoming divorce Picture Quote #1

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I look forward to getting my hopes up. I have an appointment for disappointment Picture Quote #1

Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving a gift which you did not have to pay for Picture Quote #1

I have no brothers or sisters, so I get all my sibling love. But since I can’t take what’s already mine, I end up giving it all to my cat Picture Quote #1

Water is translucent, but not invisible. But a glass half full is half translucent, half invisible, and you cannot drink what you cannot see, which may be why I am so thirsty for her love Picture Quote #1

If my name were Theodore Tiffany, my goal in life would be to meet and marry a woman named Tiffany Theodore. I adore that idea Picture Quote #1

I had no direction until I merged into the left lane. Some people find God. I found my blinker Picture Quote #1

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When love knocked at my door, I prayed to God and thanked Him for letting me live in a Porta-potty Picture Quote #1

The going rate for love is going away. And the more you go away, the more expensive it gets Picture Quote #1

I am patriotic. When the Pledge of Allegiance is going on, I solemnly place my right hand over my genitals Picture Quote #1

When Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow meet, only Today gets to shake hands twice. That makes Today twice as important as the other two. But it also means that Today must be careful, because who knows whether Yesterday or Tomorrow washed their hands after going to the bathroom Picture Quote #1

Silence is golden, and gold is up these days, so silence is a solid investment Picture Quote #1

The price of gold is up 14 fold since last time I tried unfolding it. And laundry has declined two folds Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I told her I’d wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who’d give me a ride home. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Love is about forgiveness. And since I love you, you should forgive me. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Two former students of mine are getting married. Congrats, grandpa and grandpa! (Jarod Kintz Quotes) My life was unbalanced. That is, until I found love and grew a second leg. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I took a shower under a fountain drink machine at a gas station because it beats showering with unleaded gasoline at $3.33 a gallon and rising. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) The president of the US is the leader of the free world, if by free world you mean the country with the largest prison system. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I am so extreme that I do parkour like a caterpillar gyrates. My movements are slow and methodical, but eventually my free running takes flight. I love the same exact way, and my romance has the essence of a butterfly. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I’d happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I wear a jockstrap with my gun holster (loaded with fruits and vegetables) (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I asked for her hand in marriage, but instead got the whole body. Love is full of surprises! (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I would take a trip down Memory Lane, but with gas prices sky high, forget about it (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I was gardening when I saw this snail/slug thing disguised as a leaf. Ah, isn’t fall a wonderful time to slowly fall in love? (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I wish I could bottle up my penis and sell it at a garage sale. But first I need to get a garage. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I dug it up first? (Jarod Kintz Quotes) When I hear people say Rest In Peace, I get jealous, because I’m a restless sleeper (Jarod Kintz Quotes) A sofa on an elevator would be like a slow roller coaster where you get to work on your small talk skills. Oh yes, I am an adrenaline junky. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) He told me he was getting married, and I told him I approved of his upcoming divorce (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I look forward to getting my hopes up. I have an appointment for disappointment. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving a gift which you did not have to pay for. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I have no brothers or sisters, so I get all my sibling love. But since I can’t take what’s already mine, I end up giving it all to my cat. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Water is translucent, but not invisible. But a glass half full is half translucent, half invisible, and you cannot drink what you cannot see, which may be why I am so thirsty for her love. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) If my name were Theodore Tiffany, my goal in life would be to meet and marry a woman named Tiffany Theodore. I adore that idea. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I had no direction until I merged into the left lane. Some people find God. I found my blinker. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) When love knocked at my door, I prayed to God and thanked Him for letting me live in a Porta-potty (Jarod Kintz Quotes) The going rate for love is going away. And the more you go away, the more expensive it gets. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I am patriotic. When the Pledge of Allegiance is going on, I solemnly place my right hand over my genitals. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) When Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow meet, only Today gets to shake hands twice. That makes Today twice as important as the other two. But it also means that Today must be careful, because who knows whether Yesterday or Tomorrow washed their hands after going to the bathroom. (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Silence is golden, and gold is up these days, so silence is a solid investment (Jarod Kintz Quotes) The price of gold is up 14 fold since last time I tried unfolding it. And laundry has declined two folds. (Jarod Kintz Quotes)

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