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Funny Quotes

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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy  (Funny Quotes) When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you  (Funny Quotes) Bye bitch  (Funny Quotes) Step aside Monday, this is a job for coffee  (Funny Quotes) I miss you like an idiot misses the point  (Funny Quotes) I told you I was sick  (Funny Quotes) They say try everything once, not everyone once  (Funny Quotes) The most exercise you get is running your mouth, jumping to conclusions, and pushing your luck  (Funny Quotes) Attitude. You know it when you see it  (Funny Quotes) The Earth without art is just eh  (Funny Quotes) Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now  (Funny Quotes) If you're uncomfortable around my dog, I'm happy to lock you in the other room when you come over  (Funny Quotes) Don't cry over spilt milk, just lick it up instead  (Funny Quotes) Going to McDonald's to get a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug  (Funny Quotes) Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is  (Funny Quotes) You had one job  (Funny Quotes) If she says "do whatever you want", do NOT do whatever you want  (Funny Quotes) The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it  (Funny Quotes) Always be yourself unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn  (Funny Quotes) Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?  (Funny Quotes) Sarcasm is the bodies natural defense against stupid  (Funny Quotes) Life is short, so smile while you still have teeth  (Funny Quotes) I don't think you understand mom. I need lightup shoes so I can run faster  (Funny Quotes) I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested  (Funny Quotes) An apple a day keeps the doctor away, especially if you aim for the head  (Funny Quotes) Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself  (Funny Quotes) My car runs on gas, not friendship. So pay up.  (Funny Quotes) Found it! Another home for the dog  (Funny Quotes) So close, yet so far away  (Funny Quotes)
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