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Funny Quotes

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde Quotes
When I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew - William Shakespeare Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
A year from now you'll wish you started today - Work Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
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Text Quotes
A book a day keeps reality away  (Funny Quotes) We will always be best friends until we are old and senile. then we can be new friends  (Funny Quotes) "stalking" is such a strong word, I prefer "Intense research of an individual"  (Funny Quotes) Your face when someone you hate is talking  (Funny Quotes) I am great in bed. I can sleep for days  (Funny Quotes) See, it doesn't hurt. So, why does mommy always cry when she steps on it  (Funny Quotes) HOW TO SLEEP FASTER: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom  (Funny Quotes) Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini  (Funny Quotes) If you don't want anyone to know it, don't do it  (Funny Quotes) Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy  (Funny Quotes) Young at heart. Slightly older in other places  (Funny Quotes) Always remember, it's better to arrive late than to arrive ugly  (Funny Quotes) The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Other than that, watch out  (Funny Quotes) Don't try to win over the haters, you are not the jerk whisperer  (Funny Quotes) I don't always bark at night  (Funny Quotes) They keep saying the right person will come along, but I think mine got hit by a truck  (Funny Quotes) I need a drink, a man, or a massage. Or a drunken massage by a man  (Funny Quotes) Just because i'm awake at 8am doesn't mean i'm ready to do things  (Funny Quotes) Drink coffee to get the energy to drink more coffee  (Funny Quotes) If he truly loves me, he'll let me sleep  (Funny Quotes) Some people just need a high-five, in the face, with a chair  (Funny Quotes) "Username or Password incorrect." TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A BITCH  (Funny Quotes) I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure  (Funny Quotes) Chocolate is always a good idea  (Funny Quotes) When all else fails take a nap  (Funny Quotes) If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change  (Funny Quotes) Yoga. Vodka  (Funny Quotes) Me  (Funny Quotes) If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays  (Funny Quotes) Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want  (Funny Quotes)
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