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Funny Quotes

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I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color  (Funny Quotes) A book a day keeps reality away  (Funny Quotes) We will always be best friends until we are old and senile. then we can be new friends  (Funny Quotes) You mean to tell me that not everyone at the door is trying to kill us all?  (Funny Quotes) "stalking" is such a strong word, I prefer "Intense research of an individual"  (Funny Quotes) Your face when someone you hate is talking  (Funny Quotes) I am great in bed. I can sleep for days  (Funny Quotes) See, it doesn't hurt. So, why does mommy always cry when she steps on it  (Funny Quotes) Young at heart. Slightly older in other places  (Funny Quotes) HOW TO SLEEP FASTER: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom  (Funny Quotes) Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy  (Funny Quotes) Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini  (Funny Quotes) If you don't want anyone to know it, don't do it  (Funny Quotes) Always remember, it's better to arrive late than to arrive ugly  (Funny Quotes) The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Other than that, watch out  (Funny Quotes) I don't always bark at night  (Funny Quotes) They keep saying the right person will come along, but I think mine got hit by a truck  (Funny Quotes) I need a drink, a man, or a massage. Or a drunken massage by a man  (Funny Quotes) Just because i'm awake at 8am doesn't mean i'm ready to do things  (Funny Quotes) Don't try to win over the haters, you are not the jerk whisperer  (Funny Quotes) If he truly loves me, he'll let me sleep  (Funny Quotes) Drink coffee to get the energy to drink more coffee  (Funny Quotes) Some people just need a high-five, in the face, with a chair  (Funny Quotes) I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure  (Funny Quotes) Chocolate is always a good idea  (Funny Quotes) If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change  (Funny Quotes) "Username or Password incorrect." TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A BITCH  (Funny Quotes) When all else fails take a nap  (Funny Quotes) Me  (Funny Quotes)
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