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Woody Allen Quotes

What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn’t for certain people Picture Quote #1

To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful Picture Quote #1

Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you’re not nauseous Picture Quote #1

Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun Picture Quote #1

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off Picture Quote #1

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly Picture Quote #1

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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me Picture Quote #1

I don’t respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot Picture Quote #1

Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime Picture Quote #1

If you don’t fail now and again, it’s a sign you’re playing it safe Picture Quote #1

Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained Picture Quote #1

Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging Picture Quote #1

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I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic Picture Quote #1

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio Picture Quote #1

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives Picture Quote #1

I’d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member Picture Quote #1

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with Picture Quote #1

Because it’s much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine Picture Quote #1

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And my parents finally realize I’m kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room Picture Quote #1

I’ve always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion... but it won’t get much sleep Picture Quote #1

He’s a genius, she’s a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something Picture Quote #1

As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on Picture Quote #1

You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life Picture Quote #1

Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you Picture Quote #1

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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films Picture Quote #1

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it Picture Quote #1

There’s nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope Picture Quote #1

It’s a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to Picture Quote #1

Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I’m a pervert because I drank our water bed Picture Quote #1

The artist’s job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

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Text Quotes

What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn’t for certain people (Woody Allen Quotes) To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful (Woody Allen Quotes) Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you’re not nauseous (Woody Allen Quotes) Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun (Woody Allen Quotes) It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off (Woody Allen Quotes) More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly (Woody Allen Quotes) I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me (Woody Allen Quotes) I don’t respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot (Woody Allen Quotes) Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime (Woody Allen Quotes) If you don’t fail now and again, it’s a sign you’re playing it safe (Woody Allen Quotes) Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained (Woody Allen Quotes) Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging (Woody Allen Quotes) I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic (Woody Allen Quotes) A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio (Woody Allen Quotes) We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives (Woody Allen Quotes) I’d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member (Woody Allen Quotes) Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with (Woody Allen Quotes) Because it’s much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine (Woody Allen Quotes) And my parents finally realize I’m kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room (Woody Allen Quotes) I’ve always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion... but it won’t get much sleep (Woody Allen Quotes) He’s a genius, she’s a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something (Woody Allen Quotes) As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on (Woody Allen Quotes) You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life (Woody Allen Quotes) Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you (Woody Allen Quotes) My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films (Woody Allen Quotes) All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it (Woody Allen Quotes) There’s nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope (Woody Allen Quotes) It’s a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to (Woody Allen Quotes) Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I’m a pervert because I drank our water bed (Woody Allen Quotes) The artist’s job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence (Woody Allen Quotes)

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