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Woody Allen Quotes

After all, there are worse things in life than death. If you’ve ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know what I’m talking about Picture Quote #1

The key is, to not think of death as an end, but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses Picture Quote #1

Sonja: Sex without love is an empty experience! Boris: Yes, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best! Picture Quote #1

Countess: You are a great lover! Boris: I practice a lot when I’m alone Picture Quote #1

Sonja: I do believe that this is truly the best of all possible worlds. Boris: Well, it’s certainly the most expensive Picture Quote #1

I’d rather she grew up here than grew up as an orphan, you know I can tolerate anybody’s orphans but my own Picture Quote #1

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No, I don’t think you’re paranoid. I think you’re the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you Picture Quote #1

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it Picture Quote #1

A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight Picture Quote #1

I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic Picture Quote #1

And how does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket? Picture Quote #1

I have also reviewed my own financial obligations, which have puffed up recently like a hammered thumb Picture Quote #1

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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats Picture Quote #1

I was so touched by her that, after fifteen minutes, I wanted to marry her and, after half an hour, I completely gave up the idea of snatching her purse Picture Quote #1

Well, freedom is wonderful. On the other hand, if you’re dead, it’s a tremendous drawback to your sex life Picture Quote #1

I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham Picture Quote #1

Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don’t think about sex at all, you know, they become lawyers Picture Quote #1

It’s not the quantity of your sexual relations that count, it’s the quality. On the other hand, if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it Picture Quote #1

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That’s essentially how I feel about life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness, and it’s all over much too quickly Picture Quote #1

I don’t want to live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light Picture Quote #1

A relationship, I think, is, is like a shark, you know, it has to constantly move forward or it dies, and I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark Picture Quote #1

The man has an axe. There’s two of us. There’ll be four of us in no time Picture Quote #1

You can live to be 100 if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be 100 Picture Quote #1

And my parents finally realize that I’m kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room Picture Quote #1

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Life is a concentration camp. You’re stuck here and there’s no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors Picture Quote #1

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate Picture Quote #1

Obviously, if Woody Allen calls and says he wants you to read a script, of course you read it Picture Quote #1

Woody Allen would go for seven years without a movie and then make one that makes no money Picture Quote #1

Even death is wonderful because, as Woody Allen says, we’re not going to know when it happens Picture Quote #1

I prefer to live in the country where it's quiet. Woody allen movies there are dubbed into Italian Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

After all, there are worse things in life than death. If you’ve ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know what I’m talking about (Woody Allen Quotes) The key is, to not think of death as an end, but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses (Woody Allen Quotes) Sonja: Sex without love is an empty experience! Boris: Yes, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best! (Woody Allen Quotes) Countess: You are a great lover! Boris: I practice a lot when I’m alone (Woody Allen Quotes) Sonja: I do believe that this is truly the best of all possible worlds. Boris: Well, it’s certainly the most expensive (Woody Allen Quotes) I’d rather she grew up here than grew up as an orphan, you know I can tolerate anybody’s orphans but my own (Woody Allen Quotes) No, I don’t think you’re paranoid. I think you’re the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you (Woody Allen Quotes) All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it (Woody Allen Quotes) A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight (Woody Allen Quotes) I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic (Woody Allen Quotes) And how does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket? (Woody Allen Quotes) I have also reviewed my own financial obligations, which have puffed up recently like a hammered thumb (Woody Allen Quotes) I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats (Woody Allen Quotes) I was so touched by her that, after fifteen minutes, I wanted to marry her and, after half an hour, I completely gave up the idea of snatching her purse (Woody Allen Quotes) Well, freedom is wonderful. On the other hand, if you’re dead, it’s a tremendous drawback to your sex life (Woody Allen Quotes) I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham (Woody Allen Quotes) Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don’t think about sex at all, you know, they become lawyers (Woody Allen Quotes) It’s not the quantity of your sexual relations that count, it’s the quality. On the other hand, if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it (Woody Allen Quotes) That’s essentially how I feel about life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness, and it’s all over much too quickly (Woody Allen Quotes) I don’t want to live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light (Woody Allen Quotes) A relationship, I think, is, is like a shark, you know, it has to constantly move forward or it dies, and I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark (Woody Allen Quotes) The man has an axe. There’s two of us. There’ll be four of us in no time (Woody Allen Quotes) You can live to be 100 if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be 100 (Woody Allen Quotes) And my parents finally realize that I’m kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room (Woody Allen Quotes) Life is a concentration camp. You’re stuck here and there’s no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors (Woody Allen Quotes) Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate (Woody Allen Quotes) Obviously, if Woody Allen calls and says he wants you to read a script, of course you read it (Woody Allen Quotes) Woody Allen would go for seven years without a movie and then make one that makes no money (Woody Allen Quotes) Even death is wonderful because, as Woody Allen says, we’re not going to know when it happens (Woody Allen Quotes) I prefer to live in the country where it's quiet. Woody allen movies there are dubbed into Italian (Woody Allen Quotes)

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