|

|

Toilet Quotes

You know you’re big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises Picture Quote #1

One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it’s a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas? Picture Quote #1

I was photographing every meal I ate, every person I met, every waiter or waitress who served me, every bed I slept in, every toilet I used Picture Quote #1

I’m probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do Picture Quote #1

So it just wasn’t in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet Picture Quote #1

I was sorting through my mother’s things. All the letters from friends had to go. I don’t know why she kept them, and now they meant nothing to anybody alive. Each generation flushes the toilet for the last Picture Quote #1

Acting is invigorating. But I don’t analyse it too much. It’s like a dog smelling where it’s going to do its toilet in the morning Picture Quote #1

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in Picture Quote #1

No one goes to the toilet in novels. You’d think none of us had bladders Picture Quote #1

I really can’t be bothered going to a barber. And shaving every morning, that’s nightmarish. I spent my teenage years covered in tiny little bits of toilet paper Picture Quote #1

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes Picture Quote #1

As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to Picture Quote #1

It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away Picture Quote #1

The only process you’ve mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you’ve mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet Picture Quote #1

This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I’m asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men? Picture Quote #1

If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm? Picture Quote #1

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting Picture Quote #1

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under Picture Quote #1

Leaders win through logistics. Vision, sure. Strategy, yes. But when you go to war, you need to have both toilet paper and bullets at the right place at the right time. In other words, you must win through superior logistics Picture Quote #1

It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That’s why those old ships carried such large crews Picture Quote #1

With what hope can we endeavor to persuade the ladies that the time spent at the toilet is lost in vanity Picture Quote #1

When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed Picture Quote #1

I can say with a solid degree of authority that I am a selfish person. I spontaneously forget the names of more people than not, unless I want to make out with them. I will take the last square of toilet paper off the roll without thinking twice. I tip taxi drivers so poorly I’m amazed none of them have run over my foot while speeding off Picture Quote #1

When I was little, my friends would gush over wedding gowns and honeymoons. But I saw too many people flush decades together down the toilet over money or kids or meaningless flings. My own parents chose to stay married, which I think is rather funny, since they show about as much affection for each other as pit bulls in a ring. Tying the knot means slipping a noose around love and choking it to death Picture Quote #1

I sat on a toilet watching the water run thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home and then expend vast quantities of time and money in a largely futile effort to recapture the comforts you wouldn’t have lost if you hadn’t left home in the first place Picture Quote #1

I was the only westerner to succeed in a place that’s like a toilet, and you always come out of a toilet with a smell Picture Quote #1

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet Picture Quote #1

France is the country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper Picture Quote #1

Not to go to the theatre is like making one’s toilet without a mirror Picture Quote #1

France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can’t tear the toilet paper Picture Quote #1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Text Quotes

You know you’re big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises (Toilet Quotes) One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it’s a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas? (Toilet Quotes) I was photographing every meal I ate, every person I met, every waiter or waitress who served me, every bed I slept in, every toilet I used (Toilet Quotes) I’m probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do (Toilet Quotes) So it just wasn’t in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet (Toilet Quotes) I was sorting through my mother’s things. All the letters from friends had to go. I don’t know why she kept them, and now they meant nothing to anybody alive. Each generation flushes the toilet for the last (Toilet Quotes) Acting is invigorating. But I don’t analyse it too much. It’s like a dog smelling where it’s going to do its toilet in the morning (Toilet Quotes) Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in (Toilet Quotes) No one goes to the toilet in novels. You’d think none of us had bladders (Toilet Quotes) I really can’t be bothered going to a barber. And shaving every morning, that’s nightmarish. I spent my teenage years covered in tiny little bits of toilet paper (Toilet Quotes) I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes (Toilet Quotes) As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to (Toilet Quotes) It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away (Toilet Quotes) The only process you’ve mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you’ve mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet (Toilet Quotes) This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I’m asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men? (Toilet Quotes) If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm? (Toilet Quotes) I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting (Toilet Quotes) If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under (Toilet Quotes) Leaders win through logistics. Vision, sure. Strategy, yes. But when you go to war, you need to have both toilet paper and bullets at the right place at the right time. In other words, you must win through superior logistics (Toilet Quotes) It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That’s why those old ships carried such large crews (Toilet Quotes) With what hope can we endeavor to persuade the ladies that the time spent at the toilet is lost in vanity (Toilet Quotes) When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed (Toilet Quotes) I can say with a solid degree of authority that I am a selfish person. I spontaneously forget the names of more people than not, unless I want to make out with them. I will take the last square of toilet paper off the roll without thinking twice. I tip taxi drivers so poorly I’m amazed none of them have run over my foot while speeding off (Toilet Quotes) When I was little, my friends would gush over wedding gowns and honeymoons. But I saw too many people flush decades together down the toilet over money or kids or meaningless flings. My own parents chose to stay married, which I think is rather funny, since they show about as much affection for each other as pit bulls in a ring. Tying the knot means slipping a noose around love and choking it to death (Toilet Quotes) I sat on a toilet watching the water run thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home and then expend vast quantities of time and money in a largely futile effort to recapture the comforts you wouldn’t have lost if you hadn’t left home in the first place (Toilet Quotes) I was the only westerner to succeed in a place that’s like a toilet, and you always come out of a toilet with a smell (Toilet Quotes) You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet (Toilet Quotes) France is the country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper (Toilet Quotes) Not to go to the theatre is like making one’s toilet without a mirror (Toilet Quotes) France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can’t tear the toilet paper (Toilet Quotes)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8