Advertisements
Joan Rivers Quotes
Advertisements
Advertisements
Advertisements
Advertisements
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Advertisements
Text Quotes
Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Comedy exists to laugh at things that aren’t laughable. But isn’t it? That’s what separates us from the animals. We laugh (Joan Rivers Quotes)
I think anyone who’s perfectly happy isn’t particularly funny. And when you’re very, very happy, you’re not very funny. You’re just happy. I’d rather be damaged and funny (Joan Rivers Quotes)
The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality (Joan Rivers Quotes)
How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard (Joan Rivers Quotes)
There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn’t been paying attention (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Don’t talk to me about gravity. When I get out of bed in the morning, I have to be careful not to step on my breasts (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Show business can be an addiction.... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone (Joan Rivers Quotes)
To maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner (Joan Rivers Quotes)
I wear the midi because I feel if you’re going to look ugly, you may as well look this year’s ugly (Joan Rivers Quotes)
If you don’t think that all life is improvisation, then you haven’t been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans (Joan Rivers Quotes)
The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself (Joan Rivers Quotes)
In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Edgar had a heart attack, and I’m to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives (Joan Rivers Quotes)
I’m a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we’re making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise (Joan Rivers Quotes)
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio (Joan Rivers Quotes)
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made (Joan Rivers Quotes)
What are people going to do? Fire me? I’ve been fired before. Not book me? I’ve been out of work before. I don’t care (Joan Rivers Quotes)
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp (Joan Rivers Quotes)
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again (Joan Rivers Quotes)
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash (Joan Rivers Quotes)
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top (Joan Rivers Quotes)
After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body (Joan Rivers Quotes)
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive (Joan Rivers Quotes)
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don’t need it. It all comes out onstage (Joan Rivers Quotes)
I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool (Joan Rivers Quotes)