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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

There’s no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is on track Picture Quote #1

Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I’m ready to handle whatever I have to handle Picture Quote #1

Celebrity is no different from any other energy. It’s a force for good or evil. It’s no different from money. It’s power Picture Quote #1

I hate the waiting room. Because it’s called the waiting room, there’s no chance of not waiting. It’s built, designed, and intended for waiting. Why would they take you right away when they’ve got this room all set up? Picture Quote #1

Everybody lies about sex. People lie during sex. If it weren’t for lies, there’d be no sex Picture Quote #1

A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it’s just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens Picture Quote #1

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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are Picture Quote #1

I feel like humor is the answer to everything. If you have a little bit of humor in the shaker and you can sprinkle that on, that’s your answer Picture Quote #1

You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out Picture Quote #1

If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight? Picture Quote #1

Fear of success is one of the new fears I’ve heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we’re running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel Picture Quote #1

The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge Picture Quote #1

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This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little Picture Quote #1

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper Picture Quote #1

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome Picture Quote #1

Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death Picture Quote #1

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing Picture Quote #1

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving Picture Quote #1

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Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there Picture Quote #1

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking Picture Quote #1

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom Picture Quote #1

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That’s how you know you’re still alive Picture Quote #1

I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they’re doing. People don’t look at me. They don’t even know I’m there Picture Quote #1

I won’t do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can’t, it’s not gonna make the team Picture Quote #1

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I’ll tell you one thing, since I’m married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me Picture Quote #1

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun Picture Quote #1

If you go to a bad movie, it’s two hours. If you’re in a bad movie, it’s two years Picture Quote #1

Pay attention, don’t let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box Picture Quote #1

The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn’t have that kind of personality, and it’s a terrifying thing to say Picture Quote #1

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

There’s no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is on track (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I’m ready to handle whatever I have to handle (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Celebrity is no different from any other energy. It’s a force for good or evil. It’s no different from money. It’s power (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I hate the waiting room. Because it’s called the waiting room, there’s no chance of not waiting. It’s built, designed, and intended for waiting. Why would they take you right away when they’ve got this room all set up? (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Everybody lies about sex. People lie during sex. If it weren’t for lies, there’d be no sex (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it’s just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I feel like humor is the answer to everything. If you have a little bit of humor in the shaker and you can sprinkle that on, that’s your answer (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight? (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Fear of success is one of the new fears I’ve heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we’re running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That’s how you know you’re still alive (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they’re doing. People don’t look at me. They don’t even know I’m there (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I won’t do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can’t, it’s not gonna make the team (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) I’ll tell you one thing, since I’m married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) If you go to a bad movie, it’s two hours. If you’re in a bad movie, it’s two years (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Pay attention, don’t let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn’t have that kind of personality, and it’s a terrifying thing to say (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes) Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)

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