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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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Text Quotes
I can’t eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
There’s nothing more fun than entertaining kids (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
I think it’s funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
The best revenge is living well (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Why would anybody want a friend? (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Maybe if we lie down our brains will work (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Economy is essential to all good art (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
The biggest laugh has to come at the end (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
When you interrupt, you’ve stopped listening. People need to be heard (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
There is nothing more rewarding than completing a goal you have set for yourself (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
If I want a long boring story with no point to it, I have my life (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we’ve grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it’s not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God's final decision on where your lips end (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
Having a two year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it (Jerry Seinfeld Quotes)
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