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Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did Picture Quote #1

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family Picture Quote #1

If your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck Picture Quote #1

That’s the great thing about a tractor. You can’t really hear the phone ring Picture Quote #1

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education Picture Quote #1

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it? Picture Quote #1

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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods Picture Quote #1

Little girls love dolls. They just don’t love doll clothes. We’ve got four thousand dolls and ain’t one of them got a stitch of clothes on Picture Quote #1

The designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house Picture Quote #1

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn’t really make me mad any more Picture Quote #1

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it Picture Quote #1

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If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck Picture Quote #1

Please don’t get me wrong here. I’m not making fun of old people. In fact I think that’s the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday Picture Quote #1

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children Picture Quote #1

Kids aren’t suppose to have cancer, they’re suppose to have a future Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup Picture Quote #1

You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t Picture Quote #1

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When you’re young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex Picture Quote #1

The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house Picture Quote #1

There’s a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy Picture Quote #1

On life’s list of fun things to do, comes in somewhere below sitting in a tub full of scissors Picture Quote #1

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you Picture Quote #1

If you can’t remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you’re either gay, or married Picture Quote #1

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If you’ve ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you’re either gay, or married Picture Quote #1

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car Picture Quote #1

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that’s been driven that hard by that many people, you really don’t want to put your key in it Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) If your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) That’s the great thing about a tractor. You can’t really hear the phone ring (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it? (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) Little girls love dolls. They just don’t love doll clothes. We’ve got four thousand dolls and ain’t one of them got a stitch of clothes on (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) The designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn’t really make me mad any more (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) Please don’t get me wrong here. I’m not making fun of old people. In fact I think that’s the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) Kids aren’t suppose to have cancer, they’re suppose to have a future (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) When you’re young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) There’s a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) On life’s list of fun things to do, comes in somewhere below sitting in a tub full of scissors (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) If you can’t remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you’re either gay, or married (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) If you’ve ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you’re either gay, or married (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that’s been driven that hard by that many people, you really don’t want to put your key in it (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes)

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