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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Together is my favorite place to be - Love Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever - Love Quotes
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary - Work Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde Quotes
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Text Quotes
My wife and i were happy for 20 years. Then we met  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Man, who don’t like spaghetti?  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I was a poster child... for birth control!  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) He who laughs last didn’t get it in the first place  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I’m getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) It’s great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who’s bald.  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wife and I were happy for twenty year. Then we met.  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I don’t know kid, there are so many places they could hide  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wife gives good headache  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it’s not in my act  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) You don’t know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach  (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes)
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