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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette Picture Quote #1

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me Picture Quote #1

My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks Picture Quote #1

I can't get no respect Picture Quote #1

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud Picture Quote #1

I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport Picture Quote #1

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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive! Picture Quote #1

At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind Picture Quote #1

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid! Picture Quote #1

They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another Picture Quote #1

Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution Picture Quote #1

School is a place were you go to eat your lunch Picture Quote #1

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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn’t going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom Picture Quote #1

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table Picture Quote #1

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass Picture Quote #1

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home Picture Quote #1

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! Picture Quote #1

A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, man, I wish I had your willpower Picture Quote #1

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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it Picture Quote #1

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest Picture Quote #1

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend Picture Quote #1

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive Picture Quote #1

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio Picture Quote #1

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie Picture Quote #1

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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going Picture Quote #1

My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock Picture Quote #1

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend Picture Quote #1

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair Picture Quote #1

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid Picture Quote #1

I was an ugly kid. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I can't get no respect (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive! (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid! (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) School is a place were you go to eat your lunch (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn’t going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, man, I wish I had your willpower (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I was an ugly kid. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes)

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