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Joan Rivers Quotes

I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
Having you in my life made everything better - Love Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work - Fail Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
You had me at hello - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening  (Joan Rivers Quotes) If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds  (Joan Rivers Quotes) The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it  (Joan Rivers Quotes) In every human endeavor, persistence is everything  (Joan Rivers Quotes) I was not an attractive child  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Does fashion matter? Always - though not quite as much after death  (Joan Rivers Quotes) All my friends are dying. That’s why I always wear black.  (Joan Rivers Quotes) My audiences get younger all the time  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can’t dress  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Comedy is a very rough beat. It’s no holds barred, as it should be.  (Joan Rivers Quotes) She’s so fat, she’s my two best friends  (Joan Rivers Quotes) What we do is a calling...we make people happy  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.  (Joan Rivers Quotes) I am a huge ‘Downton Abbey’ fan - huge!  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Why women don’t blink during foreplay... not enough time.  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips.  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending.  (Joan Rivers Quotes) I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware  (Joan Rivers Quotes) I have a million dollar figure... but it’s all loose change  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you  (Joan Rivers Quotes) The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be  (Joan Rivers Quotes) I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them  (Joan Rivers Quotes) I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are  (Joan Rivers Quotes) Never floss with a stranger  (Joan Rivers Quotes) There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl  (Joan Rivers Quotes)
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