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Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it’s God first, friends and family second and you third, we won’t ever have an argument Picture Quote #1

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this Picture Quote #1

My grandma’s the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she’s doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! Picture Quote #1

If you break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police Picture Quote #1

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn’t even be here Picture Quote #1

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Thank God I’m at that point in my career where I don’t have to take stuff that I don’t really want to do Picture Quote #1

I’ve gotten to the point I won’t even watch the 11 o’clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is Picture Quote #1

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if you can’t get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does Picture Quote #1

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You might be a redneck if you’ve ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband Picture Quote #1

You find out that all this stuff you’ve accumulated, you could care less about it. It’s just the relationships that matter Picture Quote #1

The biggest thing I’ve learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts Picture Quote #1

If your mother doesn’t remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck Picture Quote #1

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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if you’re turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer Picture Quote #1

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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown Picture Quote #1

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it’s God first, friends and family second and you third, we won’t ever have an argument (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) My grandma’s the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she’s doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) If you break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn’t even be here (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) Thank God I’m at that point in my career where I don’t have to take stuff that I don’t really want to do (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) I’ve gotten to the point I won’t even watch the 11 o’clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if you can’t get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if you’ve ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You find out that all this stuff you’ve accumulated, you could care less about it. It’s just the relationships that matter (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) The biggest thing I’ve learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) If your mother doesn’t remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if you’re turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes) You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve (Jeff Foxworthy Quotes)

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