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Funny Quotes

You had me at hello - Love Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
A year from now you'll wish you started today - Work Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
... funny how people want a return to the good ole days. Of coarse the good ole days of being a rich white plantation owner. Everyone seems to forget the poor white farmer  (Funny Quotes) Isn’t it funny how we’ll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it’s not the moon but a streetlight? Also what’s funny is how we do this every night  (Funny Quotes) I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you’re in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!  (Funny Quotes) Isn’t it funny how whenever we go to a county fair or a state fair, the first thing we do is see if they have some kind of pornography booth?  (Funny Quotes) Isn’t it funny how one minute life can be such a struggle, and the next minute you’re just driving real fast, swerving back and forth across the road?  (Funny Quotes) It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating  (Funny Quotes) It’s funny now, trying to socialise with people. There’s this cautiousness about people which I just find really weird  (Funny Quotes) Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life saying the right thing at the right time is beyond crucial  (Funny Quotes) Books shouldn’t be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful  (Funny Quotes) I listen to a lot of rap where men talk a certain way about women and I’m not offended. It’s meant to be funny. I’m throwing it right back at them with humor, but some people can’t take it. They’re not used to women talking back  (Funny Quotes) It’s funny, I get a little quieter with time. I don’t want to chase my tail and one day repeat myself and repeat myself and one day have kids going to college and not have memories that I should, because I was too busy doing my thing  (Funny Quotes) Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn’t funny. It’s a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it’s not a surprise anymore  (Funny Quotes) And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny  (Funny Quotes) We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest  (Funny Quotes) All sliced up and sealed tight in baggies. Guess love makes you do funny things  (Funny Quotes) It’s funny, but certain faces seem to go in and out of style. You look at old photographs and everybody has a certain look to them, almost as if they’re related. Look at pictures from ten years later and you can see that there’s a new kind of face starting to predominate, and that the old faces are fading away and vanishing, never to be seen again  (Funny Quotes) Death’s a funny thing. I used to think it was a big, sudden thing, like a huge owl that would swoop down out of the night and carry you off. I don’t anymore. I think it’s a slow thing. Like a thief who comes to your house day after day, taking a little thing here and a little thing there, and one day you walk round your house and there’s nothing there to keep you, nothing to make you want to stay. And then you lie down and shut up forever. Lots of little deaths until the last big one  (Funny Quotes) The thing is, some girls think they can actually change guys. And what’s funny is that if they actually did change them, they’d get bored. They’d have no challenge left. You just have to give girls some time to think of a new way of doing things, that’s all. Some of them will figure it out here. Some later. Some never. I wouldn’t worry about it too much  (Funny Quotes) Truth was funny, because it was an insistent thing, maybe as powerful and insistent as some force of nature, the push of water or wind. You could keep it out only so long, but it had its own will and its own needs, and maybe you could keep it at bay with lies, but not for long, not for always  (Funny Quotes) So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn’t funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it. That’s why I write, because life never works except in retrospect. And writing makes you look back. Because since you can’t control life, at least you can control your version  (Funny Quotes) You know, it’s funny... When you’re making money, people don’t think you’re playing jazz. Now when you’re not making money, people think that you’re a good jazz musician  (Funny Quotes) I only have three scenes and each is a turn and she gets progressively drunker. It’s all terribly funny and its main challenge is that it’s so far away from what I usually do  (Funny Quotes) You didn’t want to laugh, did you? It wasn’t very funny, was it?  (Funny Quotes) Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with the characters  (Funny Quotes) I like to have fun and be funny, but I’m much more of a thinker  (Funny Quotes) A reader should be able to identify a column without its byline or funny little picture on top purely by look or feel, or its turgidity ratio  (Funny Quotes) I think things are funny when the character is taking it totally seriously  (Funny Quotes) Funny way to spend your life, though, studying another chap’s versifying  (Funny Quotes) If you ever feel useless, just remember that there is a lifeguard at the swimming Olympics  (Funny Quotes) I’m just not very funny  (Funny Quotes)
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