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Roseanne Barr Quotes

I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on Picture Quote #1

I never consciously set out to talk about taboos or anything like that Picture Quote #1

I believe in equal rights for all citizens. One law for all Picture Quote #1

Comedy is the only hope for humanity Picture Quote #1

Truth is available to the ears that can hear it Picture Quote #1

Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones Picture Quote #1

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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth Picture Quote #1

A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer Picture Quote #1

I loved comedy all my life. I think it’s a real powerful art form Picture Quote #1

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it Picture Quote #1

Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles Picture Quote #1

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego Picture Quote #1

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I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job Picture Quote #1

My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life Picture Quote #1

I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless Picture Quote #1

My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn’t hit you. My dad wouldn’t hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes Picture Quote #1

When I was little, that was one thing that I was told in a vision: I was going to have my own show when I grew up. And it’s going to be funny Picture Quote #1

I don’t really want to hang out with politicians. I’d rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200 Picture Quote #1

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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they’ll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics Picture Quote #1

Once you get away from wanting to get paid, you can actually say some true things Picture Quote #1

I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not Picture Quote #1

Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist and extreme. Bombs get thrown only when people cannot honestly talk together Picture Quote #1

Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness... it’s just been a really great thing in my life Picture Quote #1

I loved work and I loved pouring myself into the work, you know. It was the real life that I had trouble with Picture Quote #1

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I’m funnier now because I’m braver and less full of hate, so everything is even more ridiculous than it was before Picture Quote #1

I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny Picture Quote #1

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps Picture Quote #1

The one who cares the most wins.... That’s how I knew I’d end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That’s how I knew I’d be the last person standing when it was all over.... I cared the most Picture Quote #1

I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear Picture Quote #1

I’m on the mirror diet. You eat all your food in front of a mirror in the nude. It works pretty good, though some of the fancier restaurants don’t go for it Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I never consciously set out to talk about taboos or anything like that (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I believe in equal rights for all citizens. One law for all (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Comedy is the only hope for humanity (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Truth is available to the ears that can hear it (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones (Roseanne Barr Quotes) In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth (Roseanne Barr Quotes) A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I loved comedy all my life. I think it’s a real powerful art form (Roseanne Barr Quotes) It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles (Roseanne Barr Quotes) A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job (Roseanne Barr Quotes) My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless (Roseanne Barr Quotes) My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn’t hit you. My dad wouldn’t hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes (Roseanne Barr Quotes) When I was little, that was one thing that I was told in a vision: I was going to have my own show when I grew up. And it’s going to be funny (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I don’t really want to hang out with politicians. I’d rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200 (Roseanne Barr Quotes) The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they’ll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Once you get away from wanting to get paid, you can actually say some true things (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist and extreme. Bombs get thrown only when people cannot honestly talk together (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness... it’s just been a really great thing in my life (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I loved work and I loved pouring myself into the work, you know. It was the real life that I had trouble with (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I’m funnier now because I’m braver and less full of hate, so everything is even more ridiculous than it was before (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny (Roseanne Barr Quotes) You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps (Roseanne Barr Quotes) The one who cares the most wins.... That’s how I knew I’d end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That’s how I knew I’d be the last person standing when it was all over.... I cared the most (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I’m on the mirror diet. You eat all your food in front of a mirror in the nude. It works pretty good, though some of the fancier restaurants don’t go for it (Roseanne Barr Quotes)

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