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George Carlin Quotes

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else Picture Quote #1

I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam Picture Quote #1

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Picture Quote #1

Let’s not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine Picture Quote #1

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders Picture Quote #1

When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat Picture Quote #1

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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be Picture Quote #1

They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles Picture Quote #1

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid Picture Quote #1

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions Picture Quote #1

I'm a high tech low life. A cutting edge, state of the art bi coastal multi-asker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! Picture Quote #1

Homemade is a myth. You want to know some things that are homemade? Crystal meth. Crack cocaine. A pipe bomb full of nails. Now we're talkin' homemade Picture Quote #1

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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience Picture Quote #1

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body Picture Quote #1

I didn’t wash today. I wasn’t dirty. If I’m not dirty, I don’t wash. Some weeks I don’t have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the same brush Picture Quote #1

What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job! Picture Quote #1

The things they don’t tell you in schools these days, geez. Have a look at your owners. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice; you have owners. They own you. They own everything Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else (George Carlin Quotes) I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam (George Carlin Quotes) Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? (George Carlin Quotes) Let’s not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine (George Carlin Quotes) If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders (George Carlin Quotes) When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat (George Carlin Quotes) Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be (George Carlin Quotes) They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles (George Carlin Quotes) Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid (George Carlin Quotes) I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions (George Carlin Quotes) I'm a high tech low life. A cutting edge, state of the art bi coastal multi-asker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! (George Carlin Quotes) Homemade is a myth. You want to know some things that are homemade? Crystal meth. Crack cocaine. A pipe bomb full of nails. Now we're talkin' homemade (George Carlin Quotes) Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience (George Carlin Quotes) Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body (George Carlin Quotes) I didn’t wash today. I wasn’t dirty. If I’m not dirty, I don’t wash. Some weeks I don’t have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the same brush (George Carlin Quotes) What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job! (George Carlin Quotes) The things they don’t tell you in schools these days, geez. Have a look at your owners. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice; you have owners. They own you. They own everything (George Carlin Quotes)

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