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George Carlin Quotes

Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help Picture Quote #1

A pear is a failed apple Picture Quote #1

To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope Picture Quote #1

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity Picture Quote #1

Good news for senior citizens: Death is near! Picture Quote #1

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! Picture Quote #1

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Your home is your refuge Picture Quote #1

The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage Picture Quote #1

Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails Picture Quote #1

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? Picture Quote #1

If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer Picture Quote #1

The planet isn’t going anywhere. We are Picture Quote #1

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When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Picture Quote #1

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often Picture Quote #1

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values Picture Quote #1

My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me Picture Quote #1

Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards Picture Quote #1

Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate Picture Quote #1

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I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine Picture Quote #1

Weather tonight: dark. Turning partly light by morning Picture Quote #1

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? Picture Quote #1

Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real? Picture Quote #1

I couldn’t commit suicide if my life depended on it Picture Quote #1

Weather forecast for tonight: dark Picture Quote #1

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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American - you know, you grow Picture Quote #1

And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Picture Quote #1

I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights Picture Quote #1

I’ve never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea Picture Quote #1

Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, ‘The creature is regenerating itself.’ Picture Quote #1

Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help (George Carlin Quotes) A pear is a failed apple (George Carlin Quotes) To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope (George Carlin Quotes) Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity (George Carlin Quotes) Good news for senior citizens: Death is near! (George Carlin Quotes) May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! (George Carlin Quotes) Your home is your refuge (George Carlin Quotes) The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage (George Carlin Quotes) Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails (George Carlin Quotes) If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? (George Carlin Quotes) If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer (George Carlin Quotes) The planet isn’t going anywhere. We are (George Carlin Quotes) When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? (George Carlin Quotes) We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often (George Carlin Quotes) We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values (George Carlin Quotes) My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me (George Carlin Quotes) Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards (George Carlin Quotes) Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate (George Carlin Quotes) I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine (George Carlin Quotes) Weather tonight: dark. Turning partly light by morning (George Carlin Quotes) What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? (George Carlin Quotes) Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real? (George Carlin Quotes) I couldn’t commit suicide if my life depended on it (George Carlin Quotes) Weather forecast for tonight: dark (George Carlin Quotes) I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American - you know, you grow (George Carlin Quotes) And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National (George Carlin Quotes) I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights (George Carlin Quotes) I’ve never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea (George Carlin Quotes) Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, ‘The creature is regenerating itself.’ (George Carlin Quotes) Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend (George Carlin Quotes)

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