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George Carlin Quotes

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist Picture Quote #1

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house Picture Quote #1

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept Picture Quote #1

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the Moon howls Picture Quote #1

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past Picture Quote #1

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning Picture Quote #1

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What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? Picture Quote #1

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands Picture Quote #1

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything Picture Quote #1

It's never just a game when you're winning Picture Quote #1

I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free Picture Quote #1

I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius Picture Quote #1

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Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror Picture Quote #1

I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity Picture Quote #1

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life Picture Quote #1

Rhetoric paints with a broad brush Picture Quote #1

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is Picture Quote #1

You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic Picture Quote #1

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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it Picture Quote #1

Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure Picture Quote #1

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Picture Quote #1

Trying to be happy be accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body Picture Quote #1

I love individuals. Every person you look at you can see the universe in their eyes if you're really looking Picture Quote #1

Where do we get our values from? Picture Quote #1

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We created God in our own image and likeness! Picture Quote #1

If voting changed anything, it would be illegal Picture Quote #1

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor Picture Quote #1

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? Picture Quote #1

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think Picture Quote #1

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist (George Carlin Quotes) May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house (George Carlin Quotes) The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept (George Carlin Quotes) There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the Moon howls (George Carlin Quotes) There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past (George Carlin Quotes) Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning (George Carlin Quotes) What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? (George Carlin Quotes) When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands (George Carlin Quotes) As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything (George Carlin Quotes) It's never just a game when you're winning (George Carlin Quotes) I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free (George Carlin Quotes) I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius (George Carlin Quotes) Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror (George Carlin Quotes) I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity (George Carlin Quotes) The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life (George Carlin Quotes) Rhetoric paints with a broad brush (George Carlin Quotes) The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is (George Carlin Quotes) You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic (George Carlin Quotes) Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it (George Carlin Quotes) Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure (George Carlin Quotes) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? (George Carlin Quotes) Trying to be happy be accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body (George Carlin Quotes) I love individuals. Every person you look at you can see the universe in their eyes if you're really looking (George Carlin Quotes) Where do we get our values from? (George Carlin Quotes) We created God in our own image and likeness! (George Carlin Quotes) If voting changed anything, it would be illegal (George Carlin Quotes) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor (George Carlin Quotes) Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? (George Carlin Quotes) I think I am, therefore, I am... I think (George Carlin Quotes) Would a fly without wings be called a walk? (George Carlin Quotes)

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