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George Carlin Quotes

You had me at hello - Love Quotes
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely - Love Quotes
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her - Marilyn Monroe Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
Don't look back you're not going that way - Inspirational Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
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Text Quotes
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups  (George Carlin Quotes) Think of how stupid the average person is, and the realize that half of them are stupider than that  (George Carlin Quotes) Don't just teach your children to read, teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything  (George Carlin Quotes) Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town  (George Carlin Quotes) And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats  (George Carlin Quotes) You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar  (George Carlin Quotes) The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity  (George Carlin Quotes) I’m 63 now. But that’s just 17 Celsius  (George Carlin Quotes) Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey  (George Carlin Quotes) Language always gives you away  (George Carlin Quotes) We are all precancerous  (George Carlin Quotes) Everything beeps now  (George Carlin Quotes) Professional soldiers are people who die for a living  (George Carlin Quotes) Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it  (George Carlin Quotes) Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason  (George Carlin Quotes) There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords  (George Carlin Quotes) God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile  (George Carlin Quotes) But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!  (George Carlin Quotes) Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven  (George Carlin Quotes) Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom  (George Carlin Quotes) Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn’t work  (George Carlin Quotes) What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?  (George Carlin Quotes) My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me  (George Carlin Quotes) I believe you can joke about anything  (George Carlin Quotes) Dogs and cats get put to sleep; hogs and cows get slaughtered  (George Carlin Quotes) In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first  (George Carlin Quotes) I’m kinda like herpes, I just keep coming back  (George Carlin Quotes) The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid  (George Carlin Quotes) I do something about the weather. I stay home.  (George Carlin Quotes) Let’s not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine.  (George Carlin Quotes)
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