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Funny Quotes

When I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew
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Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why
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A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
Together is my favorite place to be
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A year from now you'll wish you started today
The darkest nights produce the brightest stars
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Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
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Text Quotes
There’s good and bad in every arena. It’s funny, some people, the reason they’re in the underground is because they’re lazy and don’t make things happen for themselves.  (Funny Quotes) Fame is a funny thing. I like doing normal things. I like going to fairs. I like going to ball games. I like going to Disney World or a big field on the Fourth of July and having picnics with friends. The problem is you’re either worried you’re going to be recognized, or you’re thankful you’re not. It’s always there.  (Funny Quotes) Baseball players practice, runners practice, so how can you practice being funny? You get up onstage. You train as an improviser, playing make-believe, using the vernacular of improvisation, saying ‘yes and’ to other people’s ideas, making statements.  (Funny Quotes) The funny thing about writing is that whether you’re doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exact same. That’s actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing.  (Funny Quotes) The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, I wish you hadn’t made every line funny. It’s so depressing.  (Funny Quotes) What’s funny is I probably still have some calligraphy business cards floating out in the world, and I can’t wait for someone to call me in a month or something, and say, ‘Can you do these for my son’s Bar Mitzvah?’  (Funny Quotes) I used to like Barbra Streisand films. It was Funny Girl that really turned me on, in a sense, to acting. I remember it specifically being a rainy Saturday afternoon. I couldnt play football, so I stayed in, and I watched Funny Girl.  (Funny Quotes) It’s funny, but I never knew I was hot or could be beautiful until I saw ‘Basic Instinct,’ and I was so shocked when I saw how pretty they made me.  (Funny Quotes) If there was any drug that was to symbolize the people that ate our heroes, it seems like bath salts was a good idea. It’s also a drug that, I think, is still funny to a lot of people.  (Funny Quotes) For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy.  (Funny Quotes) It’s hard enough to be a lady writer. Doubly hard to be a funny lady writer.  (Funny Quotes) There’s something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can’t pretend to be funny.  (Funny Quotes) When you’re in the editing room, the dangerous thing is that it becomes like telling a joke again and again and again. Eventually, the joke starts to not be funny. So you have to be careful that you’re not throwing the baby out with the bath water.  (Funny Quotes) If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn’t mean just because you are confident you are funny.  (Funny Quotes) In person, my father is so friendly, so considerate, so funny, and so real. I have admired my father all of my life, and I love him with all my heart.  (Funny Quotes) Cool is the enemy of funny. You can’t be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.  (Funny Quotes) Don’t remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you’ll be disappointed  (Funny Quotes) I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love pot jokes. Even people who don’t smoke pot think it’s a funny subject.  (Funny Quotes) The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you’re not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.  (Funny Quotes) I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don’t deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don’t even notice that that’s the thing.  (Funny Quotes) Weirdly, for someone who wanted to be funny, I didn’t like a lot of attention  (Funny Quotes) And when you’re on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it’s funny - and you have no way of finding out.  (Funny Quotes) It’s funny, but when I arrived in California to start college I was much more interested in becoming a surfer and cruise along in life from one beach to the next. I didn’t plan out any huge career for myself.  (Funny Quotes) The funny thing is that I’m the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who’s traveled with me. Normally, I’m in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!  (Funny Quotes) There’s nothing funny the first time about telling a story about getting beat up and it makes you leave high school.  (Funny Quotes) The way I survived growing up in Jersey City was by being funny. It wasn’t by being tough. Nobody thought of me as a tough kid, except for the kids I beat up.  (Funny Quotes) Funny songs aren’t usually that good. Like Weird Al and maybe a couple of Beatles songs, but it’s kind of hard to bring humor into rock music in an interesting way.  (Funny Quotes) The movies are funny, in one way, because you think of everyone being as beautiful as the dawn, but that isn’t true.  (Funny Quotes) They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?  (Funny Quotes) This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I’m clean, fresh out of the bath. I don’t have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family.  (Funny Quotes)
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