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Chris Rock Quotes

It’s like, hmm, there’s people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. They don’t have insurance. People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures Picture Quote #1

Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather Picture Quote #1

When you’ve been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you’re just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium Picture Quote #1

No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better Picture Quote #1

You only know that you’re smart because you’re around dumb people from time to time! Picture Quote #1

Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you Picture Quote #1

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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world Picture Quote #1

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I’m famous Picture Quote #1

I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it’s a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don’t recognize comedy, and you don’t see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it? Picture Quote #1

Every now and then I’m in a situation where someone doesn’t recognize me, and I experience racism. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my ticket four times Picture Quote #1

Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I’m not picking on my wife Picture Quote #1

Karaoke isn’t fair when you’re a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I’m a professional funny guy Picture Quote #1

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Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics Picture Quote #1

I’ve seen women who don’t have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day Picture Quote #1

When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That’s it Picture Quote #1

Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you’re up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95 Picture Quote #1

There’s some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get Picture Quote #1

I’ve remade a few movies and they all have one thing in common: great endings. If you’re going to remake something, make sure that ending is tight. It’s a little less challenging, if you have a great ending. If you don’t have a great ending, don’t remake the movie Picture Quote #1

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I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that’s not my true personality either. It’s the personality of a guy who hasn’t been able to say what he wanted to say Picture Quote #1

You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere Picture Quote #1

Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks Picture Quote #1

Babies don’t know who’s rich and who’s poor. You love ‘em and they’re happy Picture Quote #1

The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh Picture Quote #1

I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I’ll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats Picture Quote #1

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I love being famous. It's almost like being white Picture Quote #1

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian Picture Quote #1

Emotional affairs, those are the only real affairs; those are the real ones Picture Quote #1

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on Picture Quote #1

Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit Picture Quote #1

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

It’s like, hmm, there’s people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. They don’t have insurance. People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures. (Chris Rock Quotes) Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather. (Chris Rock Quotes) When you’ve been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you’re just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium. (Chris Rock Quotes) No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better (Chris Rock Quotes) You only know that you’re smart because you’re around dumb people from time to time! (Chris Rock Quotes) Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you. (Chris Rock Quotes) Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world (Chris Rock Quotes) Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I’m famous. (Chris Rock Quotes) I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it’s a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don’t recognize comedy, and you don’t see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it? (Chris Rock Quotes) Every now and then I’m in a situation where someone doesn’t recognize me, and I experience racism. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my ticket four times. (Chris Rock Quotes) Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I’m not picking on my wife. (Chris Rock Quotes) Karaoke isn’t fair when you’re a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I’m a professional funny guy. (Chris Rock Quotes) Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics. (Chris Rock Quotes) I’ve seen women who don’t have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day. (Chris Rock Quotes) When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That’s it. (Chris Rock Quotes) Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you’re up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95. (Chris Rock Quotes) There’s some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get. (Chris Rock Quotes) I’ve remade a few movies and they all have one thing in common: great endings. If you’re going to remake something, make sure that ending is tight. It’s a little less challenging, if you have a great ending. If you don’t have a great ending, don’t remake the movie. (Chris Rock Quotes) I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that’s not my true personality either. It’s the personality of a guy who hasn’t been able to say what he wanted to say. (Chris Rock Quotes) You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere. (Chris Rock Quotes) Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks. (Chris Rock Quotes) Babies don’t know who’s rich and who’s poor. You love ‘em and they’re happy. (Chris Rock Quotes) The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh (Chris Rock Quotes) I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I’ll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats. (Chris Rock Quotes) I love being famous. It's almost like being white (Chris Rock Quotes) I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian (Chris Rock Quotes) Emotional affairs, those are the only real affairs; those are the real ones (Chris Rock Quotes) Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on (Chris Rock Quotes) Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit (Chris Rock Quotes) Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time (Chris Rock Quotes)

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