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Steven Wright Quotes

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me Picture Quote #1

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? Picture Quote #1

I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying Picture Quote #1

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop? Picture Quote #1

I had amnesia once or twice Picture Quote #1

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Picture Quote #1

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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity Picture Quote #1

I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot Picture Quote #1

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? Picture Quote #1

Always remember your unique, just like everone else Picture Quote #1

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It’s a start Picture Quote #1

I’m not afraid of heights, just widths Picture Quote #1

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If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? Picture Quote #1

So, do you live around here often? Picture Quote #1

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol Picture Quote #1

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot Picture Quote #1

At one point he decided enough was enough Picture Quote #1

Hermits have no peer pressure Picture Quote #1

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Is it possible to be totally partial? Picture Quote #1

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? Picture Quote #1

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? Picture Quote #1

Is it weird in here, or is it just me? Picture Quote #1

On the other hand, you have different fingers Picture Quote #1

What a nice night for an evening Picture Quote #1

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You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? Picture Quote #1

Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home Picture Quote #1

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle Picture Quote #1

Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! Picture Quote #1

I’m addicted to placebos Picture Quote #1

I thought I would be a guy on the radio Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me (Steven Wright Quotes) Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? (Steven Wright Quotes) I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying (Steven Wright Quotes) Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop? (Steven Wright Quotes) I had amnesia once or twice (Steven Wright Quotes) What happens if you get scared half to death twice? (Steven Wright Quotes) I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity (Steven Wright Quotes) I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot (Steven Wright Quotes) When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? (Steven Wright Quotes) Always remember your unique, just like everone else (Steven Wright Quotes) I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It’s a start (Steven Wright Quotes) I’m not afraid of heights, just widths (Steven Wright Quotes) If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? (Steven Wright Quotes) So, do you live around here often? (Steven Wright Quotes) I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol (Steven Wright Quotes) There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot (Steven Wright Quotes) At one point he decided enough was enough (Steven Wright Quotes) Hermits have no peer pressure (Steven Wright Quotes) Is it possible to be totally partial? (Steven Wright Quotes) If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? (Steven Wright Quotes) If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? (Steven Wright Quotes) Is it weird in here, or is it just me? (Steven Wright Quotes) On the other hand, you have different fingers (Steven Wright Quotes) What a nice night for an evening (Steven Wright Quotes) You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? (Steven Wright Quotes) Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home (Steven Wright Quotes) Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle (Steven Wright Quotes) Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! (Steven Wright Quotes) I’m addicted to placebos (Steven Wright Quotes) I thought I would be a guy on the radio (Steven Wright Quotes)

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