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Steven Wright Quotes

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Picture Quote #1

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life Picture Quote #1

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar Picture Quote #1

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time Picture Quote #1

I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost Picture Quote #1

Half the people you know are below average Picture Quote #1

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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know Picture Quote #1

I was an only child, eventually Picture Quote #1

I lost a button hole Picture Quote #1

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose Picture Quote #1

Whatever happened to preparations A through G Picture Quote #1

How come abbreviated is such a long word Picture Quote #1

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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name Picture Quote #1

Do fish get cramps after eating Picture Quote #1

Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent Picture Quote #1

I just lost a buttonhole Picture Quote #1

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good Picture Quote #1

It’s a fine night to have an evening Picture Quote #1

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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? Picture Quote #1

Because I don’t believe everything I read Picture Quote #1

My father was a small claims court jester Picture Quote #1

I had my coat hangers spayed Picture Quote #1

Do fish get cramps after eating? Picture Quote #1

I invented the cordless extension cord Picture Quote #1

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Smoking cures weight problems, eventually Picture Quote #1

Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out Picture Quote #1

It’s like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules Picture Quote #1

I’m a peripheral visionary Picture Quote #1

Does fuzzy logic tickle? Picture Quote #1

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? (Steven Wright Quotes) Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life (Steven Wright Quotes) I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar (Steven Wright Quotes) Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time (Steven Wright Quotes) I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost (Steven Wright Quotes) Half the people you know are below average (Steven Wright Quotes) I like to reminisce with people I don’t know (Steven Wright Quotes) I was an only child, eventually (Steven Wright Quotes) I lost a button hole (Steven Wright Quotes) If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose (Steven Wright Quotes) Whatever happened to preparations A through G (Steven Wright Quotes) How come abbreviated is such a long word (Steven Wright Quotes) Why do psychics have to ask you for your name (Steven Wright Quotes) Do fish get cramps after eating (Steven Wright Quotes) Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent (Steven Wright Quotes) I just lost a buttonhole (Steven Wright Quotes) A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good (Steven Wright Quotes) It’s a fine night to have an evening (Steven Wright Quotes) If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? (Steven Wright Quotes) Because I don’t believe everything I read (Steven Wright Quotes) My father was a small claims court jester (Steven Wright Quotes) I had my coat hangers spayed (Steven Wright Quotes) Do fish get cramps after eating? (Steven Wright Quotes) I invented the cordless extension cord (Steven Wright Quotes) Smoking cures weight problems, eventually (Steven Wright Quotes) Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out (Steven Wright Quotes) It’s like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules (Steven Wright Quotes) I’m a peripheral visionary (Steven Wright Quotes) Does fuzzy logic tickle? (Steven Wright Quotes) Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor (Steven Wright Quotes)

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