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Stephen Colbert Quotes

The cost of living keeps going up, although death is surprisingly affordable Picture Quote #1

I’ve said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex Picture Quote #1

I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody Picture Quote #1

The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book Picture Quote #1

I’ve said it before: equations are the devil’s sentences. The worst one is that quadratic equation, an infernal salad of numbers, letters, and symbols Picture Quote #1

Hey yogurt, if you’re so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? Picture Quote #1

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Don’t cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it’ll be free yogurt Picture Quote #1

If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself Picture Quote #1

The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy’s fear Picture Quote #1

It’s like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is Picture Quote #1

When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner Picture Quote #1

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he’s never on welfare in a mysterious way Picture Quote #1

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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman Picture Quote #1

Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you Picture Quote #1

And we didn’t have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn’t show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life Picture Quote #1

I love the earth. If you ask me it’s the greatest planet in the world Picture Quote #1

Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The cost of living keeps going up, although death is surprisingly affordable (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I’ve said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody (Stephen Colbert Quotes) The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I’ve said it before: equations are the devil’s sentences. The worst one is that quadratic equation, an infernal salad of numbers, letters, and symbols (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Hey yogurt, if you’re so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Don’t cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it’ll be free yogurt (Stephen Colbert Quotes) If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself (Stephen Colbert Quotes) The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy’s fear (Stephen Colbert Quotes) It’s like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is (Stephen Colbert Quotes) When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner (Stephen Colbert Quotes) God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he’s never on welfare in a mysterious way (Stephen Colbert Quotes) New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you (Stephen Colbert Quotes) And we didn’t have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn’t show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I love the earth. If you ask me it’s the greatest planet in the world (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns (Stephen Colbert Quotes)

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