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Stephen Colbert Quotes

I’m an actor. I hate to blow everyone’s illusions Picture Quote #1

I love being onstage Picture Quote #1

Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals Picture Quote #1

There’s a buzz to failing and not dying Picture Quote #1

Everybody loves dogs. They’re the pizza of the animal kingdom Picture Quote #1

You have a firm grasp of the obvious Picture Quote #1

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Contrary to what people may say, there’s no upper limit to stupidity Picture Quote #1

Agnostics are just atheists without balls Picture Quote #1

Keep your facts, I’m going with the truth Picture Quote #1

Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me Picture Quote #1

I think of him as well intentioned, poorly informed, high status idiot Picture Quote #1

Well, I thought it was funny Picture Quote #1

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The more you know, the sadder you get Picture Quote #1

It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias Picture Quote #1

I am no fan of books Picture Quote #1

Baby carrots are making me gay Picture Quote #1

I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that Picture Quote #1

Attack life, it’s going to kill you anyway Picture Quote #1

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Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character Picture Quote #1

I can’t prove it, but I can say it Picture Quote #1

Equations are the devil’s sentences Picture Quote #1

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we’d all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses Picture Quote #1

New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman Picture Quote #1

And we didn’t have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn’t show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life Picture Quote #1

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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns Picture Quote #1

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he’s never on welfare in a mysterious way Picture Quote #1

When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner Picture Quote #1

It’s like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is Picture Quote #1

If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself Picture Quote #1

Don’t cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it’ll be free yogurt Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I’m an actor. I hate to blow everyone’s illusions (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I love being onstage (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals (Stephen Colbert Quotes) There’s a buzz to failing and not dying (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Everybody loves dogs. They’re the pizza of the animal kingdom (Stephen Colbert Quotes) You have a firm grasp of the obvious (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Contrary to what people may say, there’s no upper limit to stupidity (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Agnostics are just atheists without balls (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Keep your facts, I’m going with the truth (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I think of him as well intentioned, poorly informed, high status idiot (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Well, I thought it was funny (Stephen Colbert Quotes) The more you know, the sadder you get (Stephen Colbert Quotes) It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I am no fan of books (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Baby carrots are making me gay (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Attack life, it’s going to kill you anyway (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character (Stephen Colbert Quotes) I can’t prove it, but I can say it (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Equations are the devil’s sentences (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Thankfully, dreams can change. If we’d all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses. (Stephen Colbert Quotes) New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman (Stephen Colbert Quotes) And we didn’t have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn’t show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns (Stephen Colbert Quotes) God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he’s never on welfare in a mysterious way (Stephen Colbert Quotes) When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner (Stephen Colbert Quotes) It’s like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is (Stephen Colbert Quotes) If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself (Stephen Colbert Quotes) Don’t cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it’ll be free yogurt (Stephen Colbert Quotes)

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