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Scott Adams Quotes

The best things in life are silly Picture Quote #1

As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won’t run out of material Picture Quote #1

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure Picture Quote #1

I get mail; therefore I am Picture Quote #1

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination Picture Quote #1

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard Picture Quote #1

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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams Picture Quote #1

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead Picture Quote #1

The only risk of failure is promotion Picture Quote #1

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot Picture Quote #1

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings Picture Quote #1

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again Picture Quote #1

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In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you hear a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon Picture Quote #1

Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account Picture Quote #1

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end Picture Quote #1

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Picture Quote #1

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks Picture Quote #1

Informed decision making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results Picture Quote #1

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Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion Picture Quote #1

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart Picture Quote #1

The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want Picture Quote #1

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems Picture Quote #1

Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet Picture Quote #1

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The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management Picture Quote #1

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives Picture Quote #1

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant Picture Quote #1

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing Picture Quote #1

There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens Picture Quote #1

The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The best things in life are silly (Scott Adams Quotes) As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won’t run out of material (Scott Adams Quotes) Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure (Scott Adams Quotes) I get mail; therefore I am (Scott Adams Quotes) I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination (Scott Adams Quotes) If a job's worth doing, it's too hard (Scott Adams Quotes) Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams (Scott Adams Quotes) One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead (Scott Adams Quotes) The only risk of failure is promotion (Scott Adams Quotes) There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot (Scott Adams Quotes) We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings (Scott Adams Quotes) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again (Scott Adams Quotes) In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you hear a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon (Scott Adams Quotes) Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account (Scott Adams Quotes) Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end (Scott Adams Quotes) If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? (Scott Adams Quotes) In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks (Scott Adams Quotes) Informed decision making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results (Scott Adams Quotes) Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion (Scott Adams Quotes) Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart (Scott Adams Quotes) Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. Because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems (Scott Adams Quotes) The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want (Scott Adams Quotes) Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems (Scott Adams Quotes) Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet (Scott Adams Quotes) The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management (Scott Adams Quotes) There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives (Scott Adams Quotes) Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant (Scott Adams Quotes) And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing (Scott Adams Quotes) There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens (Scott Adams Quotes) The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation (Scott Adams Quotes)

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