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Phyllis Diller Quotes

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo Picture Quote #1

If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm Picture Quote #1

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight Picture Quote #1

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight Picture Quote #1

Never refer to your wedding night as the original amateur hour Picture Quote #1

Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing Picture Quote #1

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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out Picture Quote #1

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves Picture Quote #1

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture Picture Quote #1

Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off Picture Quote #1

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half Picture Quote #1

You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type Picture Quote #1

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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard Picture Quote #1

My plastic surgeon... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows Picture Quote #1

I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing Picture Quote #1

Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty Picture Quote #1

I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt Picture Quote #1

I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on Picture Quote #1

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Living in Hollywood is like living in a lit cigar butt Picture Quote #1

Think of me as a sex symbol for the men who don’t give a damn Picture Quote #1

You know you’re old if your walker has an airbag Picture Quote #1

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers Picture Quote #1

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant Picture Quote #1

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit Picture Quote #1

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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge Picture Quote #1

... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular Picture Quote #1

I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions Picture Quote #1

Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have Picture Quote #1

You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone Picture Quote #1

My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo. (Phyllis Diller Quotes) If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Never refer to your wedding night as the original amateur hour (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Our dog died from licking our wedding picture (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off (Phyllis Diller Quotes) His finest hour lasted a minute and a half (Phyllis Diller Quotes) You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard (Phyllis Diller Quotes) My plastic surgeon... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Living in Hollywood is like living in a lit cigar butt (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Think of me as a sex symbol for the men who don’t give a damn (Phyllis Diller Quotes) You know you’re old if your walker has an airbag (Phyllis Diller Quotes) He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers (Phyllis Diller Quotes) By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant (Phyllis Diller Quotes) My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit (Phyllis Diller Quotes) It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge (Phyllis Diller Quotes) ... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have (Phyllis Diller Quotes) You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone (Phyllis Diller Quotes) My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life (Phyllis Diller Quotes)

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