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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means. It's dirty Picture Quote #1

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human Picture Quote #1

I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I’m upside down Picture Quote #1

I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket Picture Quote #1

I like it when people laugh for no reason... Like that lady over there Picture Quote #1

I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that Picture Quote #1

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I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential Picture Quote #1

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me Picture Quote #1

I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years Picture Quote #1

I wish I could play little league now. I’d be way better than before Picture Quote #1

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake Picture Quote #1

I’d like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart Picture Quote #1

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I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means. It's dirty (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I’m upside down (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I like it when people laugh for no reason... Like that lady over there (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I wish I could play little league now. I’d be way better than before (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I’d like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring (Mitch Hedberg Quotes)

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