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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them Picture Quote #1

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means. It's dirty Picture Quote #1

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human Picture Quote #1

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake Picture Quote #1

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential Picture Quote #1

I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) This shirt is dry clean only. Which means. It's dirty (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential (Mitch Hedberg Quotes) I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that (Mitch Hedberg Quotes)

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