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Henny Youngman Quotes

I came home, the car was in the dining room. How did you get the car in here? Easy, I took a left at the kitchen Picture Quote #1

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means Picture Quote #1

Farrah’s dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look Picture Quote #1

Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries Picture Quote #1

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays Picture Quote #1

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in! Picture Quote #1

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I went out with a girl last night. She wasn’t a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner Picture Quote #1

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat Picture Quote #1

Take my wife... Please! Picture Quote #1

If at first you don’t succeed... so much for skydiving Picture Quote #1

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash Picture Quote #1

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret Picture Quote #1

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Old teachers never die, they just grade away Picture Quote #1

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator Picture Quote #1

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops Picture Quote #1

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him Picture Quote #1

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back Picture Quote #1

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas Picture Quote #1

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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way Picture Quote #1

She has a wash and wear bridal gown Picture Quote #1

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position! Picture Quote #1

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number Picture Quote #1

Those two are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous Picture Quote #1

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being Picture Quote #1

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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it’s ready Picture Quote #1

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery Picture Quote #1

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to Picture Quote #1

The other day I broke 70. That’s a lot of clubs Picture Quote #1

In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess Picture Quote #1

My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I came home, the car was in the dining room. How did you get the car in here? Easy, I took a left at the kitchen. (Henny Youngman Quotes) Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. (Henny Youngman Quotes) Farrah’s dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look. (Henny Youngman Quotes) Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries. (Henny Youngman Quotes) I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays (Henny Youngman Quotes) She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in! (Henny Youngman Quotes) I went out with a girl last night. She wasn’t a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner. (Henny Youngman Quotes) My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat (Henny Youngman Quotes) Take my wife... Please! (Henny Youngman Quotes) If at first you don’t succeed... so much for skydiving (Henny Youngman Quotes) My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash (Henny Youngman Quotes) The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret (Henny Youngman Quotes) Old teachers never die, they just grade away (Henny Youngman Quotes) My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator (Henny Youngman Quotes) We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops (Henny Youngman Quotes) I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him (Henny Youngman Quotes) I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back (Henny Youngman Quotes) If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas (Henny Youngman Quotes) My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way (Henny Youngman Quotes) She has a wash and wear bridal gown (Henny Youngman Quotes) That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position! (Henny Youngman Quotes) This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number (Henny Youngman Quotes) Those two are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous (Henny Youngman Quotes) You have a nice personality, but not for a human being (Henny Youngman Quotes) You have a ready wit. Tell me when it’s ready (Henny Youngman Quotes) You look like a talent scout for a cemetery (Henny Youngman Quotes) You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to (Henny Youngman Quotes) The other day I broke 70. That’s a lot of clubs (Henny Youngman Quotes) In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess (Henny Youngman Quotes) My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory (Henny Youngman Quotes)

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