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Henny Youngman Quotes

I’m offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected Picture Quote #1

A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out Picture Quote #1

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays Picture Quote #1

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake Picture Quote #1

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator Picture Quote #1

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops Picture Quote #1

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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it’s ready Picture Quote #1

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him Picture Quote #1

Old teachers never die, they just grade away Picture Quote #1

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back Picture Quote #1

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret Picture Quote #1

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash Picture Quote #1

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If at first you don’t succeed... so much for skydiving Picture Quote #1

Take my wife... Please! Picture Quote #1

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat Picture Quote #1

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas Picture Quote #1

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way Picture Quote #1

On dancing on pointe: Why don’t they just get taller girls? Picture Quote #1

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You have a nice personality, but not for a human being Picture Quote #1

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery Picture Quote #1

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to Picture Quote #1

The other day I broke 70. That’s a lot of clubs Picture Quote #1

In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess Picture Quote #1

My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory Picture Quote #1

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When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win Picture Quote #1

Let’s get up here before we get killed! Picture Quote #1

Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us! Picture Quote #1

She has a wash and wear bridal gown Picture Quote #1

There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate Picture Quote #1

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I’m offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected (Henny Youngman Quotes) A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out. (Henny Youngman Quotes) I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays (Henny Youngman Quotes) While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake (Henny Youngman Quotes) My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator (Henny Youngman Quotes) We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops (Henny Youngman Quotes) You have a ready wit. Tell me when it’s ready (Henny Youngman Quotes) I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him (Henny Youngman Quotes) Old teachers never die, they just grade away (Henny Youngman Quotes) I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back (Henny Youngman Quotes) The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret (Henny Youngman Quotes) My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash (Henny Youngman Quotes) If at first you don’t succeed... so much for skydiving (Henny Youngman Quotes) Take my wife... Please! (Henny Youngman Quotes) My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat (Henny Youngman Quotes) If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas (Henny Youngman Quotes) My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way (Henny Youngman Quotes) On dancing on pointe: Why don’t they just get taller girls? (Henny Youngman Quotes) You have a nice personality, but not for a human being (Henny Youngman Quotes) You look like a talent scout for a cemetery (Henny Youngman Quotes) You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to (Henny Youngman Quotes) The other day I broke 70. That’s a lot of clubs (Henny Youngman Quotes) In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess (Henny Youngman Quotes) My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory (Henny Youngman Quotes) When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win (Henny Youngman Quotes) Let’s get up here before we get killed! (Henny Youngman Quotes) Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us! (Henny Youngman Quotes) She has a wash and wear bridal gown (Henny Youngman Quotes) There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate (Henny Youngman Quotes) Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop (Henny Youngman Quotes)

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