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Henny Youngman Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
When I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew
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I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever
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When we first met, i had no idea you would be so important to me
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely
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The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary
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Friendship Quotes
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Life Quotes
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Text Quotes
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money (Henny Youngman Quotes)
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,’Cough’ (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it (Henny Youngman Quotes)
When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock (Henny Youngman Quotes)
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink (Henny Youngman Quotes)
What is a home without children? Quiet (Henny Youngman Quotes)
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock (Henny Youngman Quotes)
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My wife has a black belt in shopping (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I live about four muggings from Central Park (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I’ve kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years. (Henny Youngman Quotes)
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex. (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I’m paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free? (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable (Henny Youngman Quotes)
What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money. (Henny Youngman Quotes)
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I’m offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected (Henny Youngman Quotes)
We aim to please... You aim too, please (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards (Henny Youngman Quotes)
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please (Henny Youngman Quotes)