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Henny Youngman Quotes
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money (Henny Youngman Quotes)
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I live about four muggings from Central Park (Henny Youngman Quotes)
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student (Henny Youngman Quotes)
What is a home without children? Quiet (Henny Youngman Quotes)
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink (Henny Youngman Quotes)
When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,’Cough’ (Henny Youngman Quotes)
I’m offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected (Henny Youngman Quotes)
We aim to please... You aim too, please (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays (Henny Youngman Quotes)
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Old teachers never die, they just grade away (Henny Youngman Quotes)
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way (Henny Youngman Quotes)
She has a wash and wear bridal gown (Henny Youngman Quotes)
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Let’s get up here before we get killed! (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us! (Henny Youngman Quotes)
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash (Henny Youngman Quotes)
Take my wife... Please! (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat (Henny Youngman Quotes)
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle (Henny Youngman Quotes)























