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Fred Allen Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better (Fred Allen Quotes)
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done (Fred Allen Quotes)
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk (Fred Allen Quotes)
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year (Fred Allen Quotes)
I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is (Fred Allen Quotes)
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars (Fred Allen Quotes)
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you (Fred Allen Quotes)
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure (Fred Allen Quotes)
Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making (Fred Allen Quotes)
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs (Fred Allen Quotes)
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything (Fred Allen Quotes)
The vice president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference (Fred Allen Quotes)
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart (Fred Allen Quotes)
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized (Fred Allen Quotes)
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host (Fred Allen Quotes)
Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans (Fred Allen Quotes)
All the sincerity in Hollywood you could stuff in a flea's navel and still have room left to conceal eight caraway seeds and an agent's heart (Fred Allen Quotes)
Everything is for the eye these days - TV, life, look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all (Fred Allen Quotes)
All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter (Fred Allen Quotes)
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done (Fred Allen Quotes)
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret (Fred Allen Quotes)
An actor's success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match (Fred Allen Quotes)
A group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done (Fred Allen Quotes)
I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars (Fred Allen Quotes)
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized (Fred Allen Quotes)
Television is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything (Fred Allen Quotes)
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion (Fred Allen Quotes)
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap (Fred Allen Quotes)
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand (Fred Allen Quotes)
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt (Fred Allen Quotes)