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Phyllis Diller Quotes

What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
The darkest nights produce the brightest stars - Motivational Quotes
You had me at hello - Love Quotes
When we first met, i had no idea you would be so important to me - Love Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
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Text Quotes
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) A smile is a curve that sets everything straight  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I don’t like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) If it weren’t for my adam’s apple, I’d have no shape at all  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) All mothers are working mothers  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) How do you know they’re growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Think of me as a sex symbol for the men who don’t give a damn  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) My photographs don’t do me justice - they just look like me  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) How do you know they’re growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) My plastic surgeon... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Never refer to your wedding night as the original amateur hour  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out  (Phyllis Diller Quotes) Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves  (Phyllis Diller Quotes)
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