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Funny Quotes

If cats could talk, they wouldn't
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Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally
You had me at hello
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why
Together is my favorite place to be
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Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini
When we first met, i had no idea you would be so important to me
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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Funny, isn’t it, how your whole life goes by while you think you’re only planning the way you’re going to live it?  (Funny Quotes) He knows I’m brutal. He’s knows I can punch hard. He knows if I connect on his chin, at any one moment, 12 three minute rounds, he’s going to be in serious trouble. If he’s not on the floor, his legs will do a funny dance  (Funny Quotes) Poems for children help them celebrate the joy and wonder of their world. Humorous poems tickle the funny bone of their imaginations  (Funny Quotes) It is funny, but it strikes me that a person without anecdotes that they nurse while they live, and that survive them, are more likely to be utterly lost not only to history but the family following them. Of course this is the fate of most souls, reducing entire lives, no matter how vivid and wonderful, to those sad black names on withering family trees, with half a date dangling after and a question mark  (Funny Quotes) You listen to the audience. The audience is wrong individually and always right collectively. If they don’t laugh, it isn’t funny. If they cough, it isn’t interesting. If they walk out, you are in trouble  (Funny Quotes) Humor is unavoidable. It might not feel funny in the moment, but more often than not there’s a light at the end of the tunnel  (Funny Quotes) I’m twice as funny, I’m twice as smart, I’m twice as whatever when I’m around other people that challenge me  (Funny Quotes) Anyone who is funny and doesn’t take herself to seriously is attractive to me  (Funny Quotes) It is a funny thing, but when I am making music, all the answers I seek for in life seem to be there, in the music. Or rather, I should say, when I am making music, there are no questions and no need for answers  (Funny Quotes) Let’s leave it all alone. I’m stupidest when I try to be funny  (Funny Quotes) Not being funny doesn’t make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does  (Funny Quotes) Spirituality is invisible. Never forget that. If you can see it, if it’s dressed in funny robes, if it’s up there to be looked at, if it’s making a big performance of itself, it is not spirituality. It is ego  (Funny Quotes) We get so worried about being pretty. Let’s be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong  (Funny Quotes) I am funny, but I’m not about funny... I’m about peace and justice  (Funny Quotes) According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you’re having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon  (Funny Quotes) People might look at you a bit funny, but it’s okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different  (Funny Quotes) I don’t think men have time to be funny because they have to make all of our rules about what we can do with our vaginas  (Funny Quotes) It’s funny when you know you’re playing two characters and you’re aware of how you have to play each one into your performance of the other. You’re constantly at the back of your mind thinking and it all gets a bit confusing  (Funny Quotes) I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn’t understand, and in a way still don’t, because when I look in a mirror it doesn’t seem funny to me  (Funny Quotes) Sometimes you have to take the focus off of you and put it on someone else and it’s funny what you can accomplish and how much strength you really have  (Funny Quotes) In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn’t have a lot of therapy, who’s mature. A man, not a boy  (Funny Quotes) Do you laugh in the right places? Then, you’ll get along, in fair weather or foul. Humor is nothing less than a sense of the fitness of things. Something that’s out of proportion, like an inflated ego, should strike you funny, particularly if it’s your own inflated ego. Otherwise you are pathetic and quite hopeless  (Funny Quotes) The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It’s crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs  (Funny Quotes) What a funny thing painting is. The abstract painters always insist on their connection with the visible reality, while the so called figurative artists insist that what they really care about, is the abstract qualities of life  (Funny Quotes) Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there’s something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions  (Funny Quotes) Here’s my advice: Go ahead and be whacky. Get into a crazy frame of mind and ask what’s funny about what you’re doing  (Funny Quotes) You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week  (Funny Quotes) People deal with models like they are children. They think they can pull one over on you. It’s actually funny. I’m always like, I’m about to pull something on you, and you’re so focused on thinking I’m dumb you’re not even going to know  (Funny Quotes) I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I’ve always enjoyed it. There’s just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me  (Funny Quotes) The funny thing is, I’m so used to not caring what anyone says, good or bad, that unfortunately even when people say good things I wish it made me feel good, but it doesn’t  (Funny Quotes)
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