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Funny Quotes

Find the best funny quotes and sayings on PictureQuotes.com!
No I don't need anger management. You need to stop pissing me off Picture Quote #1
No I don't need anger management. You need to stop pissing me off.
I have a feeling that my guardian angel often looks like this Picture Quote #1
I have a feeling that my guardian angel often looks like this.
How I look taking a selfie Picture Quote #1
How I look taking a selfie.
It's behind me isn't it Picture Quote #1
It's behind me isn't it.
When your ex says
When your ex says "you'll never find anyone like me" reply "that's the point".
If there are no ups and downs in your life it means you are dead Picture Quote #1
If there are no ups and downs in your life it means you are dead.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female Picture Quote #1
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police Picture Quote #1
Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.
Diet starts next week Picture Quote #1
Diet starts next week.
You little rebel. I like you Picture Quote #1
You little rebel. I like you.
Everyone has at least one unstable friend, i just happen to be that friend Picture Quote #1
Everyone has at least one unstable friend, i just happen to be that friend.
That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and you can't do it Picture Quote #1
That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and you can't do it.
Sometimes I think i'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop Picture Quote #1
Sometimes I think i'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything Picture Quote #1
Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
Dear mind, please stop thinking so much at night, I need to sleep Picture Quote #1
Dear mind, please stop thinking so much at night, I need to sleep.
If you think women are the weaker sex try pulling the blankets back to your side Picture Quote #1
If you think women are the weaker sex try pulling the blankets back to your...
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones,
 they have 206 Picture Quote #1
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have...
The first step to recovery is admitting you're a dumbass Picture Quote #1
The first step to recovery is admitting you're a dumbass.
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference Picture Quote #1
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
I'm not lazy, i'm just in energy saving mode Picture Quote #1
I'm not lazy, i'm just in energy saving mode.
After monday and tuesday even the calendar says W T F Picture Quote #1
After monday and tuesday even the calendar says W T F.
Excuse me, 
here's your nose. 
I found it in my business Picture Quote #1
Excuse me, here's your nose. I found it in my business.
Life's a bitch and some days it has puppies Picture Quote #1
Life's a bitch and some days it has puppies.
If you tickle me i'm not responsible for your injuries Picture Quote #1
If you tickle me i'm not responsible for your injuries.
At home:
 I want to go out, I want friends. 

When I go out:
 I want to go home, I hate people.

 Picture Quote #1
At home: I want to go out, I want friends. When I go out: I want to go...
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that crap Picture Quote #1
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser....
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes stop, calling me every half hour Picture Quote #1
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes stop, calling me every half hour.
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk Picture Quote #1
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.
You can't control everything. Your hair was put on your head to remind you of that Picture Quote #1
You can't control everything. Your hair was put on your head to remind you of...
My expression when someone states the obvious Picture Quote #1
My expression when someone states the obvious.
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