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No I don't need anger management. You need to stop pissing me off.
I have a feeling that my guardian angel often looks like this.
How I look taking a selfie.
It's behind me isn't it.
When your ex says "you'll never find anyone like me" reply "that's the point".
If there are no ups and downs in your life it means you are dead.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.
Diet starts next week.
You little rebel. I like you.
Everyone has at least one unstable friend, i just happen to be that friend.
That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and you can't do it.
Sometimes I think i'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
Dear mind, please stop thinking so much at night, I need to sleep.
Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
If you think women are the weaker sex try pulling the blankets back to your...
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have...
The first step to recovery is admitting you're a dumbass.
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
After monday and tuesday even the calendar says W T F.
Excuse me, here's your nose. I found it in my business.
I'm not lazy, i'm just in energy saving mode.
Life's a bitch and some days it has puppies.
If you tickle me i'm not responsible for your injuries.
At home: I want to go out, I want friends. When I go out: I want to go...
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser....
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes stop, calling me every half hour.
My expression when someone states the obvious.
You can't control everything. Your hair was put on your head to remind you of...
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.
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