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Funny Drinking Quotes

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Text Quotes
Drank last night. Forgot to put water by the bed  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I need a drink, a man, or a massage. Or a drunken massage by a man  (Funny Drinking Quotes) If you can't be happy at least you can be drunk  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Got me some wine. Bitches love wine  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I don't get drunk. I get awesome  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I drink to make other people more interesting  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I wish I could trade my heart in for another liver. Then I could drink more and care less  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Coffee keeps me busy until it's acceptable to drink wine  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Life is too short to drink cheap wine  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Drinking rum before 10 am makes you a pirate not an alcoholic  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I only drink on two occasions, when it's my birthday, and when it's not  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Wait, are you drunk? Please - off twelve drinks?  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that crap  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Warning. Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Here’s to blacking out!  (Funny Drinking Quotes) One drink and we go home. 5:45 AM  (Funny Drinking Quotes) There’s a time and place for wine. In my hand... and now  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Why limit happy to an hour?  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Just one bottle tonight!  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I have no physical courage, I've asked for a double  (Funny Drinking Quotes) It's not a hangover it's Wine Flu  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I drink therefore I am  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I can't wait to get home and pour myself dinner  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I'm never drinking again. Ever  (Funny Drinking Quotes)
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