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Funny Drinking Quotes

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Text Quotes
Let's drink until we all have equal amounts of dirt on each other  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day  (Funny Drinking Quotes) It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth  (Funny Drinking Quotes) The kind of friend I am. What can I do? How can I help? What are we drinking?  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Because alcohol tastes better than tears  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I’m playing a new drinking game. It’s called Everytime I’m Depressed I Take A Drink. That game exists, it’s called alcoholism  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Mr. Archer, do I have to sedate you? Well, I wouldn’t say no to a drink  (Funny Drinking Quotes) So once again you’re faced with the classic Irishman’s dilemma: Do I eat the potato now? Or do I ferment so I can drink it later?  (Funny Drinking Quotes) That guy wanted to buy you a drink. Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he’d buy me mozzarella sticks?  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Tonight I’m drinking until I’m someone else’s problem  (Funny Drinking Quotes) To me “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Beer doesn’t have many vitamins, that’s why you need to drink lots of it  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Maybe it’s the wine talking, but I want more wine  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I thought two bottles per person would be enough, maybe if we were in high school  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I have finally drank enough wine to tolerate you... you can speak now  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Come in, sit down. There’s something we have to talk about. This can’t be about my drinking. I don’t have the money to be a real alcoholic  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go To heal my heart and drown my woe Rain may fall, and wind may blow And many miles be still to go But under a tall tree will I lie And let the clouds go sailing by  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer  (Funny Drinking Quotes) A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it  (Funny Drinking Quotes) I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don’t know if I’m coming or going  (Funny Drinking Quotes) There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets.  (Funny Drinking Quotes) There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.  (Funny Drinking Quotes) Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony.  (Funny Drinking Quotes) A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her  (Funny Drinking Quotes) One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time  (Funny Drinking Quotes)
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