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Dave Barry Quotes

I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
A year from now you'll wish you started today - Work Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work - Fail Quotes
When I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew - William Shakespeare Quotes
You had me at hello - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature  (Dave Barry Quotes) What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death  (Dave Barry Quotes) Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship  (Dave Barry Quotes) Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it  (Dave Barry Quotes) ‘Escargot’ is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm’  (Dave Barry Quotes) The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition  (Dave Barry Quotes) User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean idiot  (Dave Barry Quotes) Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain  (Dave Barry Quotes) Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains  (Dave Barry Quotes) Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00  (Dave Barry Quotes) [There is] a breed of fashion models  (Dave Barry Quotes) Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you’re told  (Dave Barry Quotes) Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie  (Dave Barry Quotes) Your friends love you anyway  (Dave Barry Quotes) Murphy’s golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules  (Dave Barry Quotes) Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face  (Dave Barry Quotes) Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting  (Dave Barry Quotes) Orangutan are very weird animals but they look very soulful  (Dave Barry Quotes) There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them  (Dave Barry Quotes) Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really  (Dave Barry Quotes) Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations  (Dave Barry Quotes) Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques  (Dave Barry Quotes) For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord  (Dave Barry Quotes) Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others  (Dave Barry Quotes) Murphy’s golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules  (Dave Barry Quotes) Too many rocks in the mountains  (Dave Barry Quotes) Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands  (Dave Barry Quotes) If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?  (Dave Barry Quotes) Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege  (Dave Barry Quotes) There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace  (Dave Barry Quotes)
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