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Dave Barry Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office (Dave Barry Quotes)
The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire (Dave Barry Quotes)
Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline (Dave Barry Quotes)
Men’s magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women’s magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman’s body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women. (Dave Barry Quotes)
Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table (Dave Barry Quotes)
Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks raining from the sky, lava flows destroying entire villages, etc., and the teenager, eyebrows arched with sarcasm, will look at you and say, Gee, this is swell, then return to the rental car, turn on his portable CD player, and listen to a band called Stomach Contents. (Dave Barry Quotes)
What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America, or Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II (Dave Barry Quotes)
Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard (Dave Barry Quotes)
Happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations (Dave Barry Quotes)
No man had ever knocked little Richard down. But of course Ammm was not a man (Dave Barry Quotes)
It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick (Dave Barry Quotes)
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula (Dave Barry Quotes)
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity (Dave Barry Quotes)
Camping: nature’s way of promoting the motel industry (Dave Barry Quotes)
Never trust anything you read in a travel article (Dave Barry Quotes)
Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal (Dave Barry Quotes)
Never lick a steak knife (Dave Barry Quotes)
I can snap your spine like a toothpick (Dave Barry Quotes)
There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them (Dave Barry Quotes)
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face (Dave Barry Quotes)
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting (Dave Barry Quotes)
Orangutan are very weird animals but they look very soulful (Dave Barry Quotes)
Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really (Dave Barry Quotes)
Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations (Dave Barry Quotes)
Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques (Dave Barry Quotes)
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord (Dave Barry Quotes)
Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others (Dave Barry Quotes)
Murphy’s golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules (Dave Barry Quotes)
Too many rocks in the mountains (Dave Barry Quotes)
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands (Dave Barry Quotes)