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Jokes Quotes

I don’t consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes Picture Quote #1

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym Picture Quote #1

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way Picture Quote #1

People make a lot of jokes about the empty nest. Let me tell you, it is no laughing matter. It is really hard Picture Quote #1

What remains of your past if you didn’t allow yourself to feel it when it happened? If you don’t have your experiences in the moment, if you gloss them over with jokes or zoom past them, you end up with curiously dispassionate memories Picture Quote #1

If you can’t joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what’s the point of jokes? What’s the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things Picture Quote #1

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If I hadn’t been told I was garbage, I wouldn’t have learned how to show people I’m talented. And if everyone had always laughed at my jokes, I wouldn’t have figured out how to be so funny. If they hadn’t told me I was ugly, I never would have searched for my beauty. And if they hadn’t tried to break me down, I wouldn’t know that I’m unbreakable Picture Quote #1

A comedian is someone who tells the truth. Truth is the set of all jokes told by all comedians in the world Picture Quote #1

I don’t know why I get away with some things. But I’m not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit Picture Quote #1

Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I’m walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw Picture Quote #1

It’s like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier Picture Quote #1

Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes Picture Quote #1

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What incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones that passed it all off as a jest, pretending to understand everything and in reality not knowing their own minds Picture Quote #1

New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then as questions open to discussion, and finally as established truths Picture Quote #1

I don’t approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected Picture Quote #1

I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I’ve now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes Picture Quote #1

I want to be remembered for my poop jokes. Those are the most important kind Picture Quote #1

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I’ll just start dressing funnier Picture Quote #1

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We all have that friend that acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes Picture Quote #1

Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people Picture Quote #1

The first obligation I have is to be funny; it’s my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes Picture Quote #1

Plato was only a Bernard Shaw who unfortunately made his jokes in Greek Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I don’t consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes (Jokes Quotes) I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym (Jokes Quotes) I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way (Jokes Quotes) People make a lot of jokes about the empty nest. Let me tell you, it is no laughing matter. It is really hard (Jokes Quotes) What remains of your past if you didn’t allow yourself to feel it when it happened? If you don’t have your experiences in the moment, if you gloss them over with jokes or zoom past them, you end up with curiously dispassionate memories (Jokes Quotes) If you can’t joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what’s the point of jokes? What’s the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things (Jokes Quotes) If I hadn’t been told I was garbage, I wouldn’t have learned how to show people I’m talented. And if everyone had always laughed at my jokes, I wouldn’t have figured out how to be so funny. If they hadn’t told me I was ugly, I never would have searched for my beauty. And if they hadn’t tried to break me down, I wouldn’t know that I’m unbreakable (Jokes Quotes) A comedian is someone who tells the truth. Truth is the set of all jokes told by all comedians in the world (Jokes Quotes) I don’t know why I get away with some things. But I’m not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit (Jokes Quotes) Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I’m walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw (Jokes Quotes) It’s like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier (Jokes Quotes) Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes (Jokes Quotes) What incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones that passed it all off as a jest, pretending to understand everything and in reality not knowing their own minds (Jokes Quotes) New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then as questions open to discussion, and finally as established truths (Jokes Quotes) I don’t approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected (Jokes Quotes) I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I’ve now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes (Jokes Quotes) I want to be remembered for my poop jokes. Those are the most important kind (Jokes Quotes) Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I’ll just start dressing funnier (Jokes Quotes) We all have that friend that acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes (Jokes Quotes) Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people (Jokes Quotes) The first obligation I have is to be funny; it’s my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes. (Jokes Quotes) Plato was only a Bernard Shaw who unfortunately made his jokes in Greek (Jokes Quotes)

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