|

|

Advertisements

Jim Gaffigan Quotes

It’s a balancing act of you feel horrible that you’re away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating Picture Quote #1

Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings Picture Quote #1

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it’s what inspires you Picture Quote #1

I think I grew up with the idea that God was a punishing being, constructed around rules Picture Quote #1

I think when I started doing stand-up, that’s when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things Picture Quote #1

Once you identify yourself as believing something, you open yourself to ridicule Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that’s probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape Picture Quote #1

People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, You were named after Grandma. The seventh kid, You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben Picture Quote #1

You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? ‘Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!’ Picture Quote #1

Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen Picture Quote #1

Other people’s children’s birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend Picture Quote #1

Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. ‘Cause the appetizer’s just an excuse for an extra meal. You’re always like Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? ‘Cause I don’t wanna fill up too much Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

My childhood best friend is an anesthesiologist. It’s the least amount of human interaction for a doctor. I don’t think you can get that burned out on it Picture Quote #1

Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn’t make sense from a financial standpoint Picture Quote #1

I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic Picture Quote #1

Don’t get caught up in other people’s expectations. Don’t take anything for granted, either Picture Quote #1

Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There’s a certain level of undeniability you can work toward Picture Quote #1

The ridiculousness and idiocy of life is embraced and examined. It nurtures the childhood perspective in everyone Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

When I started stand-up - and this is in the 90s - there was definitely people hadn’t watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy Picture Quote #1

Entertainers Of Faith, funnyman Jim Gaffigan isn’t ashamed of his Catholicism. He’s seen here leaving a New York comedy club with his Bible in hand Picture Quote #1

What’s amazing about doing movies, compared to television, there’s an ending you can see. There’s an enthusiasm to it Picture Quote #1

I need the concept of mercy for me to have some semblance of self-admiration. So in real life, I’m probably somebody who is more devout Picture Quote #1

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It’s like from like the era of court jesters Picture Quote #1

I was still rooting for Notre Dame.It’s like there’s the cultural Catholic experience Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren’t done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing Picture Quote #1

I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late 90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn’t do some of the more explicit jokes Picture Quote #1

Boutique hotels are great, but they get too cute. Some hotels have shoe polish. It’s like, come on, this isn’t 1960. No one’s polishing their shoes Picture Quote #1

It’s kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does Picture Quote #1

There are different parts of us. You want to feel safe but you want to also feel challenged Picture Quote #1

Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It’s just different shapes of pasta Picture Quote #1

1 2 3 4 5 6

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

It’s a balancing act of you feel horrible that you’re away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it’s what inspires you. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I think I grew up with the idea that God was a punishing being, constructed around rules (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I think when I started doing stand-up, that’s when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Once you identify yourself as believing something, you open yourself to ridicule (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that’s probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, You were named after Grandma. The seventh kid, You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? ‘Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!’ (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Other people’s children’s birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. ‘Cause the appetizer’s just an excuse for an extra meal. You’re always like Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? ‘Cause I don’t wanna fill up too much. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) My childhood best friend is an anesthesiologist. It’s the least amount of human interaction for a doctor. I don’t think you can get that burned out on it. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn’t make sense from a financial standpoint. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Don’t get caught up in other people’s expectations. Don’t take anything for granted, either. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There’s a certain level of undeniability you can work toward. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) The ridiculousness and idiocy of life is embraced and examined. It nurtures the childhood perspective in everyone. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) When I started stand-up - and this is in the 90s - there was definitely people hadn’t watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Entertainers Of Faith, funnyman Jim Gaffigan isn’t ashamed of his Catholicism. He’s seen here leaving a New York comedy club with his Bible in hand. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) What’s amazing about doing movies, compared to television, there’s an ending you can see. There’s an enthusiasm to it. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I need the concept of mercy for me to have some semblance of self-admiration. So in real life, I’m probably somebody who is more devout. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It’s like from like the era of court jesters. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I was still rooting for Notre Dame.It’s like there’s the cultural Catholic experience (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren’t done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late 90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn’t do some of the more explicit jokes. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Boutique hotels are great, but they get too cute. Some hotels have shoe polish. It’s like, come on, this isn’t 1960. No one’s polishing their shoes. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) It’s kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) There are different parts of us. You want to feel safe but you want to also feel challenged. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It’s just different shapes of pasta. (Jim Gaffigan Quotes)

1 2 3 4 5 6