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Jerome K Jerome Quotes

I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house Picture Quote #1

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one. Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen Picture Quote #1

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. Also like the measles, we take it only once... No, we never sicken with love twice. Cupid spends no second arrow on the same heart Picture Quote #1

All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible Picture Quote #1

Swearing relieves the feelings-that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings Picture Quote #1

Conceit is the finest armor that a man can wear. Upon its smooth, impenetrable surface the puny dagger-thrusts of spite and envy glance harmlessly aside. Without that breast-plate the sword of talent cannot force its way through the battle of life, for blows have to be borne as well as dealt Picture Quote #1

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Foolish people - when I say foolish people in this contemptuous way I mean people who entertain different opinions to mine. If there is one person I do despise more than another, it is the man who does not think exactly the same on all topics as I do Picture Quote #1

They say - people who ought to be ashamed of themselves do - that the consciousness of being well dressed imparts a blissfulness to the human heart that religion is powerless to bestow. I am afraid these cynical persons are sometimes correct Picture Quote #1

It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions Picture Quote #1

It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me: The idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart Picture Quote #1

The most extraordinary dream I ever had was one in which I fancied that, as I was going into a theater, the cloak-room attendant stopped me in the lobby and insisted on my leaving my legs behind me Picture Quote #1

Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters Picture Quote #1

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When we reside in an attic we enjoy a supper of fried fish and stout. When we occupy the first floor it takes an elaborate dinner at the Continental to give us the same amount of satisfaction Picture Quote #1

When a man or woman loves to brood over a sorrow and takes care to keep it green in their memory, you may be sure it is no longer a pain to them Picture Quote #1

Vanity is truly the motive-power that moves humanity, and it is flattery that greases the wheels Picture Quote #1

Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their own way, but we, poor mortals in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company Picture Quote #1

Among all nations there should be vast temples raised where people might worship in Silence and listen to it, for it is the voice of God Picture Quote #1

Some people are under the impression that all that is required to make a good fisherman is the ability to tell lies easily and without blushing; but this is a mistake Picture Quote #1

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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous Picture Quote #1

How good one feels when one is full -- how satisfied with ourselves and with the world! People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained Picture Quote #1

It seems to me so shocking to see the precious hours of a man's life - the priceless moments that will never come back to him again - being wasted in a mere brutish sleep Picture Quote #1

They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation Picture Quote #1

I can't sit still and see another man slaving and working. I want to get up and superintend, and walk round with my hands in my pockets, and tell him what to do. It is my energetic nature. I can't help it Picture Quote #1

But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand Picture Quote #1

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Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing Picture Quote #1

Everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses Picture Quote #1

I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me Picture Quote #1

What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow. I cannot conscientiously recommend it for any useful purposes whatever. All I can suggest is that when you get tired of reading

Life is a thing to be lived, not spent; to be faced, not ordered. Life is not a game of chess, the victory to the most knowing; it is a game of cards, one's hand by skill to be made the best of Picture Quote #1

Let us play the game of life as sportsmen, pocketing our winnings with a smile, leaving our losings with a shrug Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one. Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. Also like the measles, we take it only once... No, we never sicken with love twice. Cupid spends no second arrow on the same heart (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Swearing relieves the feelings-that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Conceit is the finest armor that a man can wear. Upon its smooth, impenetrable surface the puny dagger-thrusts of spite and envy glance harmlessly aside. Without that breast-plate the sword of talent cannot force its way through the battle of life, for blows have to be borne as well as dealt (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Foolish people - when I say foolish people in this contemptuous way I mean people who entertain different opinions to mine. If there is one person I do despise more than another, it is the man who does not think exactly the same on all topics as I do (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) They say - people who ought to be ashamed of themselves do - that the consciousness of being well dressed imparts a blissfulness to the human heart that religion is powerless to bestow. I am afraid these cynical persons are sometimes correct (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me: The idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) The most extraordinary dream I ever had was one in which I fancied that, as I was going into a theater, the cloak-room attendant stopped me in the lobby and insisted on my leaving my legs behind me (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) When we reside in an attic we enjoy a supper of fried fish and stout. When we occupy the first floor it takes an elaborate dinner at the Continental to give us the same amount of satisfaction (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) When a man or woman loves to brood over a sorrow and takes care to keep it green in their memory, you may be sure it is no longer a pain to them (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Vanity is truly the motive-power that moves humanity, and it is flattery that greases the wheels (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their own way, but we, poor mortals in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Among all nations there should be vast temples raised where people might worship in Silence and listen to it, for it is the voice of God (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Some people are under the impression that all that is required to make a good fisherman is the ability to tell lies easily and without blushing; but this is a mistake (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) How good one feels when one is full -- how satisfied with ourselves and with the world! People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) It seems to me so shocking to see the precious hours of a man's life - the priceless moments that will never come back to him again - being wasted in a mere brutish sleep (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) I can't sit still and see another man slaving and working. I want to get up and superintend, and walk round with my hands in my pockets, and tell him what to do. It is my energetic nature. I can't help it (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow. I cannot conscientiously recommend it for any useful purposes whatever. All I can suggest is that when you get tired of reading "the best hundred books," you may take this for half an hour. It will be a change (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Life is a thing to be lived, not spent; to be faced, not ordered. Life is not a game of chess, the victory to the most knowing; it is a game of cards, one's hand by skill to be made the best of (Jerome K Jerome Quotes) Let us play the game of life as sportsmen, pocketing our winnings with a smile, leaving our losings with a shrug (Jerome K Jerome Quotes)

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